Tag Archive: Sports Opinion

  1. Gutman: Winter Games defy all

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    The Winter Olympics defy most rules of spectator sports. In almost every sporting event, the fans are in some way able to relate to the competitors. We’ve all played basketball at some point. Most of us have thrown a baseball. We can all run. Basketball players can shoot better, baseball players throw harder and track athletes run incomparably faster. But we all well understand the basic mechanics of most sports we watch.

    The Winter Olympics are the exception to this rule. Most viewers have never tried any of the sports that will be played in Vancouver. I’m fairly sure no one in the entire world has ever competitively done the “biathlon,” a bizarre combination of cross-country skiing and target practice shooting, except the competitors themselves. And “skeleton” looks like a death wish for those who don’t know the ins and outs of the sport.

    For those of you whose closest brush with Winter Olympic greatness will be falling down at free skate at your local public ice skating rink, here’s a quick guide of what to watch … and what to skip, between Feb. 12 and 24.

    Must Watch

    Hockey: Take NHL hockey, already a pretty good product. Mix in nationalist rivalries, like the rivalry in the movie “Miracle,” a few ex-Soviet satellites actually competing on an international stage and a wider rink (read: more goals!), and you’ve got Olympic hockey. If you like hockey, you’ll love watching Team USA and Team Canada. If you think hockey is just OK, it’s still worth your time to watch.

    Team to root for (other than the USA): Latvia, because, well, when was the last time Latvia ever won anything? It’s the ultimate underdog story.

    Figure Skating: Those of us who went to a couple ice skating birthday parties as a kid, waddled around an ice rink and then fell on our faces can understand how difficult ice skating can be. It’s hard enough to stay upright and make a lap around the rink, let alone spin three times in the air while going backwards. What figure skaters can do on ice is amazing and, while it may get boring to watch hours of the sport on end, watching a few of the best land crazy jumps in their final run is a special experience.

    People to root for: Current men’s world champion Evan Lysacek (USA) in the men’s event and ice dancer Tanith Belbin.

    Curling: The games may take a long time, but this is a fairly simple sport to watch. It’s kinda like bocce ball, where each team tries to throw as many “rocks” as close to the center of the circles as possible, while blocking out the other team’s “rocks.” The competition gets, well, something approaching semi-intense, toward the end of the matches. But the real highlight is the sweeping. Grown men and women furiously brush the ice in order to warm it up and make the rock turn. Somehow, they do so. Watch this sport to see rocks magically change direction on the ice and to learn how to clean your dorm room floor in 30 seconds flat.

    Country to root for: Who cares? Just post up in front of the TV with a couple drinks and get way too excited about everything. Life’s more fun that way.

    Bobsled: Everyone remembers “Cool Runnings,” arguably the greatest movie of all time. Jamaica doesn’t have a bobsled or “bobsleigh” team in the 2010 Olympics, but Japan, Australia and Ireland do. This is a team sport in the sense that there are four people on the sled at once, but like few other team sports I’ve ever seen. So pick out a country-that-shouldn’t-be-doing-winter-sports-but-is and hope they can edge out the Swiss by a 10th of a second.

    Team to root for: South Korea, because of Kim Jung-Su. Look up his picture on the Olympics Web site, he looks like the least likely candidate for a Winter Olympics athlete in history. Which makes him the best Winter Olympics athlete ever.

    Sports to Avoid

    Biathlon: People use poles to push themselves across the country on skis, then shoot at targets with rifles. The sport makes no sense, and the scoring system of both speed and rifle accuracy is perhaps the dumbest invention ever. Skip it.

    Ski Jumping: I know this one sounds sweet, people flying in the air on skis. The only problem is that these massive jumps come down to a matter of a few feet between the gold and the silver. It’s simply impossible to tell how well a person did on a given jump until they show you the number on the bottom of the screen. Every jump looks exactly the same. Only watch this if you’re about to go to sleep, or in econ. class.

  2. Timm: Don’t forget Yale athletics

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    This week I found myself really struggling to find a topic for my (hopefully much anticipated) column.

    In trying to figure out what in the world I have to say, I thought even more about why I’m in this Yale Athletics “funk” of sorts. In particular, I wanted to know why I, so rarely devoid of opinions on just about everything, have found myself lacking an opinion on one of my very favorite parts of Yale: varsity sports.

    When I finally came up with answers to this conundrum, I thought I would share them with you in the form of a column, thus killing two birds with one stone. My hope is not only to reinforce my own love of Yale Athletics, but to inspire you to overcome the dreariness of winter in the tundra by supporting some of the best events of the Yale sports year.

    The first thing that came to mind was the obvious quality of the post-break blitz. The beginning of a semester, which I still consider to be going on, now well into the fourth week of classes, is an overwhelming time for every student. Navigating the road through classes, tests, papers, lessons, practices, interviews and, most importantly, Feb Club can leave very little time for consideration and appreciation of athletics.

    But when is Yale not like that? Yes, we can make different choices about what to do with our time (in which case I, again, choose Feb Club), but for the most part our time is constantly scheduled. I mean, the last time I remember having unscheduled hours in the day was what many fall sport seniors are experiencing right now. Freedom! And yet, I have somehow managed to, yet again, fill every possible hour with some sort of commitment, which will inevitably happen to them.

    That is no reason, however, to miss something as epic as “Pack the Pool” this Saturday. This swim meet, celebrating over 30 years of dedication by Coach Frank Keefe, will be an event for the ages, not to mention the best excuse for putting off that paper due next week. This man has dedicated much of his life to Yale swimming, and in an homage to him, I plan on dedicating at least an afternoon not only to swimming itself, but also to redeveloping a commitment to presence and support of all Yale sports.

    The other reason for my inexcusable lack of John Song-esque intensity for Yale sports is very basic: the month of February. I decided freshman year that February is arguably the worst month of the year, hands down. Back then, it was because 6 a.m. practices had me on a geriatric sleep schedule but still let me fall asleep in class (which I learned you can do while writing). Now, with catcher’s knees that can tell the weather and snow every week, it’s just as miserable, even with more sleep.

    But here is the great thing about winter sports: They’re indoors! Granted, the hockey rink may be just as cold inside (especially when the compressor breaks — cough — Saturday — cough), but that is no reason not to hike up the hill for the teams, not to mention witness the new Captain Freedom navigate the ice. Even for those with a need for warmth, there are many other options.

    Women’s Gymnastics hosted an amazing meet this weekend at which captain Bridget Kvisto ’10 won best all-around and Tara Feld ’13 broke a school record on the vault. Men’s and women’s basketball are still jostling for position in the Ivy standings — the men’s team may have its toughest test this weekend when they play No. 25 Cornell on the road. The No. 49 women’s tennis recently defeated No. 39 Wake Forest by a resounding 6–1 deficit as if demanding our attendance.

    Basically, despite the insanity of the semester’s schedule and the perma-cloud that hovers over our fine institution, we don’t have to let seasonal woes drain our athletic spirit. Take a tip from the “primal scream” committee and get all your stress out at a Yale sports event. I guarantee it will make both you and the athletes feel better, at least until you have to walk back outside. Brrr.

    So, if you find yourself struggling with school, studying, scheduling or even trying to get energy for the next Feb Club event, take a cue from Yale sports. Let the excitement of supporting our athletes motivate you in your endeavors, or at least put them off for a little while.

    Tracy Timm is a senior in Pierson College.

  3. Goldsmith: Super Bowl 2010 is the ideal matchup

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    Sunday, Feb. 7, 2010 will be the best Super Bowl of all time.

    This is not as bold of a claim as it might initially sound. Let’s start with the obvious.

    For the first time since 1993, the best team in the NFC is playing the best team in the AFC. Beyond that, we can certifiably say that these are the two best teams in the NFL, the Colts going undefeated through the first 14 weeks, the Saints through 13. Both teams had realistic chances of finishing their seasons undefeated, and the losses that blemish their records seem more like mistakes. The Saints’ losses to the Cowboys and the Panthers might be justified, but the Central Penn Piranhas would give them more trouble than this year’s Tampa Bay Buccaneerss.

    Secondly, we will see a matchup of the league’s two best quarterbacks — Sorry Brady fans. Sportscaster Chris Berman likes to call them CEOs, and while the metaphor is a little silly, it’s still appropriate. No one controls his team’s offense like the Colts’ Peyton Manning, except for maybe the Saints’ Drew Brees. While Manning claimed the league MVP award for his dominant regular season performance, Brees led the NFL in passing touchdowns, completion percentage and passer rating, asserting his own value in the Saints’ best season ever. Watching Brees go toe-to-toe last week with the legendary geriatric Brett Favre was entertaining — but only an appetizer for the shootout that will undoubtedly be Superbowl XLIV. Keep in mind that while the two Super Bowl quarterbacks share almost identical stats, Manning is five inches taller than Brees, although I think most of that is forehead.

    The coaching matchup for the Super Bowl is also an interesting one. Since assuming duties as head coach at the Colts, Tony Dungy —I mean Jim Caldwell — has done little to change the face of his organization or the way the Colts play football, which is probably the best thing he could have done as a rookie head coach inheriting one of the most successful NFL franchises of the last decade. While much is being made of Caldwell taking the Colts to the Superbowl in his rookie head coaching season, it’s quite obvious the Colts are the same team they have always been.

    Sean Payton of the Saints, meanwhile, has built a reputation for being unpredictable, adapting his offensive sets and strategies each week to address his opponent’s defensive weaknesses. He’s proven that he can win by running the ball, letting Brees do his thing, and coming up with big defensive plays. The two epitomize two polar approaches to professional coaching; look for Caldwell to be calm and passive on the sidelines, while Payton paces vigorously, stylishly toting a slick visor.

    The best players, the best teams, the best coaches — one cannot forget the fans. The Colts’ fan base has grown considerably throughout Manning’s successful stint in Indianapolis, especially following their 2007 Super Bowl title. Likewise, the Saints have inspired fans all over the country to take part in the pure fun of the “Who-dat?” nation — Who doesn’t love saying “Who-dat?” For goodness sake, even my mother can name five members of the Saints’ offense! Overall, both are well-supported franchises with passionate national fan bases sure to attract massive coverage.

    Which brings us to the game itself — who doesn’t watch the Super Bowl? For football junkies, the waning number of games as the playoffs progress is only justified by the massive production behind the league’s title game, a satisfying fix after this year’s disgrace of a Pro Bowl.

    But even non-fans tune in for the Super Bowl — it’s a cultural staple, a secular holiday.

    The Winter Olympics are days away, and the World Cup looms imminently only months after. We are emerging from a recession, and believe it or not, Ford, America’s automaker, posted huge gains amid industry-wide declines. The Super Bowl is a celebration of America, and there is no better time to celebrate that American spirit than now.

    That said, let’s get some wings and some Budweiser, and sit back and enjoy some great F-150 commercials during the game. Personally, I’m more excited for the patriotic commercials of another American staple, Wrangler Jeans — now that they have their spokesman full-time — at least until the coverage of Favre Indecision 2010 undoubtedly begins.

  4. Song: We all hope for a turnaround

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    Why root for a team that sucks?

    You can ask this question to any present-day St. Louis Rams fan, New Jersey Nets fan or NBC fan, and they tell you it’s because there’s always next year. They root for the next year, the next great draft prospect, the next Conan (after he picked himself up from a morass of perpetual lameness in the wake of the Conan-Leno feud). They root, in short, for a turnaround.

    I’ve gotta be honest: Over the past few weeks, I’ve been so caught up with the whole junior-year job search that I haven’t really paid much attention to the sports world. Plus, I’m still (believe it or not) deflated from our fourth-and-22 embarrassment at the hands of the Cantabs. In fact, my dad had to call me and make sure I was watching this past weekend’s Vikings-Saints playoff game. Here’s an actual transcript of our conversation during that game:

    Dad: What are you doing right now?

    Me: Uh … I’m doing work. Trying to prepare for this interview, doing research on this firm that I applied to.

    Dad: Hmm … are you actually preparing for an interview? Or are you “preparing for an interview” while locking yourself up in your room and “doing ‘firm’ research” on “Girls Gone Wild”? There’s only one thing you like better than football, and remember our talk back when you were first going through puberty? Remember what I—

    Me: DAD! NO!

    Dad: OK, even if it’s true, or maybe not true, that you’re doing work, you should watch the NFL. There’s a great game going on right now.

    My point is, even Daddy Song was a little, um … concerned, that I wasn’t watching football and actually encouraged me to get away from my work for a second.

    When I actually paid attention to the game, I realized there was a similarity between the consulting practice case I’d been pouring over and the attitude of a sports fan rooting for a bad team: the turnaround. The Vikings were a team that, up until a few years ago, had essentially no star players and hadn’t made the Superbowl since the 1970s. Meanwhile, the New Orleans Saints almost left the city in the aftermath of Katrina and in the wake of bad attendance records. But irrationally, the fans stuck around and we ended up with a game for the ages.

    One of the first things that astounded me when I was introduced to sports was the fact that even bad teams have fans. My high school was a prime example of this. Nestled in the rough streets of downtown Jacksonville, Fla., Stanton College Preparatory school was a magnet school of nerds situated in the middle of a state filled with athletes.

    Each year, Jacksonville (and the entire state of Florida) sends oodles and oodles of athletes to some of the top football and basketball programs in college sports. Ever heard of that Tim Tebow fellah? Yeah, he played quarterback for the Florida Gators and has a media storm of cameras and NFL scouts following him around at this week’s Senior Bowl. Oh, and my high school friend played little league with him.

    Ever heard of Cameron Philipp-Edmonds? I never would’ve either — if he didn’t happen to be my friend’s little brother. Oh, he was also quarterback for our football team. Our football team was so bad, they asked ME to try out. If you ever wanted to hear a locker room talk about improper integrals and William Faulkner, we were the school for you.

    Our best season over the course of my senior year? Two wins, 12,756,781,651,827,365,876 losses. OK, more like 10 losses. But still, half the school showed up every Friday, and we had a grand ol’ time. Why?

    Because of a potential turnaround. There’s something primal about human beings where we always want to be the first. That gets multiplied when we get to be the first to say “I told you so.” Our team wasn’t the greatest, but with each passing year, you could see the players get better and say, boy, next year, we might make it to .500.

    That’s the mentality of the sucky-team sports fan. The Nets fan can say, “Hey, we’ve got John Wall coming, and we’re owned by a Russian millionaire. I love Popov — this is gonna be awesome!” The St. Louis Rams fan can say, “Hey, we’ve got Ndamukong Suh coming! Maybe sometime in the next decade, I’ll learn how to pronounce his name! Next year’s gonna be awesome!” The NBC fan can … Well, the NBC fan can just hope Jeff Zucker (NBC’s head honcho and mastermind of the whole Conan-Leno fiasco) will be defenestrated from his cushy corner office.

    The point is, sports doesn’t always make sense. The good teams don’t necessarily always sell out (next time you see an Orlando Magic home game, look out for how many empty seats there are), and the bad teams don’t necessarily go fanless. (Raiders fans still come out to see Jamarcus Russell sit on the bench and chomp on cheeseburgers.)

    So fans of Yale football, keep your chins up. Go to a hockey game. There’s always next year.

    John Song is a junior in Berkeley College.

  5. Gutman: Pro Bowl lacks top players

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    All-star games are fantastic for the fans. The upcoming NBA All-Star Game provides players an opportunity to take a few days off from the game while LeBron James and Kobe Bryant trade high-flying dunks. What makes NBA All-Star weekend even better is the skills competition, with the dunk contest and three-point shooting contest (Jason Kapono all the way).

    The NFL Pro Bowl this Sunday, however, lacks the two most important components of a true all-star weekend: top players and a skills contest. With the New Orleans Saints and Indianapolis Colts heading to the Super Bowl the week after the Pro Bowl, the game’s two top quarterbacks will be missing this weekend. Other big-time players, like Minnesota Vikings kick returner Percy Harvin, Chicago Bears defensive back Charles Tillman and, most notably, New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady are injured (or claiming they are injured) and skipping the game.

    In fact, of the six quarterbacks originally voted into the Pro Bowl, Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers is the only one participating. And why should players participate? They don’t even get a trip to Hawaii anymore since the game is being played in Miami.

    The next best guys from each league are still good players, don’t get me wrong. But when the 11th best starting quarterback makes the all-star game (he’s not in the top third of the 30 NFL starters), something is wrong. The top players aren’t taking part in the game, and it is undermining the event’s legitimacy.

    The Pro Bowl needs a makeover more badly than Snooki from Jersey Shore.

    Perhaps the previous season’s All-Pros should play the game during the preseason the next year, so they will all be healthy and get a chance to play against top competition as they work their way into the new season.

    Maybe the game should be turned into a weekend, which would include a skills competition. Who wouldn’t want to see Brett Favre and Aaron Rodgers light up a radar gun to see who can throw harder? Or Drew Brees and Peyton Manning throw footballs into absurdly small targets? Or a speed competition between Willie Parker and Chris Johnson? The possibilities are endless.

    Players might find the game more memorable and a greater opportunity if they only played the game every other year. It seems like a certainty that the NHL skipping its All-Star weekend this year due to the Olympics will make players eager to participate in next year’s festivities, rather than looking for an excuse to avoid them.

    The MLB All-Star game counts … at least according to the league. And it features the Home Run Derby, one of sport’s true spectacles. The NBA All-Star weekend is perhaps the most enjoyable of the bunch. And the NHL’s version is entertaining and features the game’s heavy hitters at the very least.

    The Pro Bowl sucks. Now that it’s the week before the Super Bowl, players from the two best teams or those still “injured” from games over the past couple weeks decide not to play. An all-star weekend without fan-friendly festivities or true all stars is nothing more than an over-hyped sham.

    The NFL needs to realize that its tradition doesn’t mean anything when it’s not backed up by a quality product. It can’t continue to sell an all-star game without the all-stars, and their recent decisions have only exacerbated the game’s woes. There is as much depth in the Pro Bowl as in Paris Hilton, and as much buzz around it as your average Kansas City Royals baseball game. The Pro Bowl is dead. It will get about as many viewers as a hair-gelling contest between The Situation and Pauly D.

    Actually, that would be a legitimate competition featuring two heavyweights of their “sport.” Maybe MTV should run a cheap spinoff of “Jersey Shore” opposite the Pro Bowl.

    The stakes would be higher and people might actually watch.

    If I’m going to watch one football game this weekend, it’ll be the Senior Bowl on Saturday. At least it succeeds in drawing top talent.

  6. Janes: Fantasy matches at Yale

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    As Yale students, we are inherently well-rounded. If we hadn’t all been at the top of our class, editor of the school newspaper, president of our student council, head of every community service organization known to man, founder of the school’s “Go-Green” initiative and captain of the debate, model UN and riflery teams, we simply wouldn’t be here.

    Beyond the well-roundedness, we all share another trait: competitiveness. Whether it be the not-so-furtive sideways glance to check out a classmate’s grade on a p-set or the passing declaration of just how late you stayed up last night to prove that you are, in fact, taking the hardest schedule in the history of Yale undergraduate education, we all fail miserably at concealing that desire to be better than every single one of our peers.

    With that deadly combination of raw talent and ruthless competitiveness running through all of our veins, it is no surprise that Yale plays host to countless athletic competitions each and every day in the form of varsity athletics, club sports and intramurals. But even with so many Yalies battling hard day in and day out, I feel there is a vast pool of talent and potentially compelling athletic matchups within the Yale community that have yet to be tapped.

    What follows is my list of matchups I’d like to see happen (and my in-depth, expert analysis of their outcomes). Before I lay forth my ideas, I leave you with this thought: I have only the power of suggestion. It is up to you, Yale, to make these epic battles for Yale bragging rights happen.

    Matchup 1: YSO vs. YPMB

    The Game: Football

    Analysis: YSO and YPMB are two of Yale’s most treasured musical institutions. But because YSO doesn’t play at football or hockey games, and because YPMB’s rendition of “Disturbia,” while moving, will never garner an invitation to perform at the world’s top performing venues, the two groups never find themselves juxtaposed in a position to determine which is truly superior. For that reason, in addition to the cool passion of YSO and the unbridled enthusiasm of YPMB, pitting the two groups against each other in the Yale Bowl would make for one of the greatest showdowns since the 1982 Big Game between Cal and Stanford.

    My Pick: The first violins of YSO stand no chance against the ruthless YPMB tuba section.

    YPMB 31, YSO 10.

    Matchup 2: Morning Commons Card Swiper Lady vs. the one-and-only Flower Lady

    The Game: Tennis

    Analysis: When it comes to a matchup of agility, quickness and pure speed, it doesn’t get any better than this; and what better sport to show off that athleticism than tennis — a game of quick movements and short reaction time that plays host to some of the world’s most finely tuned competitors.

    My Pick: The lightning fast hands of the Commons Swiper Lady would seem to give her the advantage talent-wise, but the relentless, dogged determination of the Flower Lady prevails in the end. Flower Lady 6–2, 4–6, 7–5.

    Matchup 3: Skip vs. Steve

    The Game: Drag racing

    Analysis: We all know Skip and Steve can drive. Without their tremendous abilities to navigate the streets (and remarkably oblivious pedestrians) of New Haven, none of us, varsity, club or intramural athletes alike, would ever get out to the fields to compete — or more importantly, get back for dinner. But their talents are suffocated by the bulky yellow school buses and federal safety regulations that prevent them from carrying out the high-speed maneuvers we all know they are capable of. So, School of Engineering and Applied Science, I’m calling you out: We all know you guys don’t do that much work, so build two high-speed drag racing machines (and two fireproof suits) and let’s see what Skip and Steve really have.

    My Pick: Toss up. Skip’s trash-talk + Steve’s no-nonsense approach is a formula for a photo-finish if I’ve ever seen one. Winner takes on Sue, the Yale varsity fields’ groundskeeper — the wild card — who makes up for her lack of experience on the roads with some serious off-roading golf-cart skills.

    Matchup 4: Paul Kennedy vs. Charles Hill

    The Game: Badminton

    Analysis: Larry and Magic. Sampras and Agassi. Kennedy and Hill. Rarely in the history of sports have two transcendent figures in the same sport been active at the same time. Even more rarely do the stars align in such a way that these beacons find themselves competing against each other in matchups that inevitably become legendary.

    Kennedy and Hill are two of the most renowned members of the esteemed Yale faculty. Their lists of accomplishments are longer than the Cubs’ World Series drought, and the number of Yale students for whom they have served as inspiration is infinite. Yet they have never, in their illustrious careers, faced off, mano-y-mano, face-to-face, to once and for all determine who truly is the defining figure of Yale’s international studies and political science programs. And what could be a more fitting venue for this matchup than badminton: a sport appreciated more internationally than here in the US. Kennedy, Hill, a court and a shuttlecock? Move over U.S. vs. Iceland from “D2: The Mighty Ducks” – this will definitely go down in history as the greatest game ever played.

    My Pick: ESPN, the News and Reuters are reporting that Professor Kennedy is postponing surgery on his recently diagnosed herniated disks, and is planning instead to rehab and play through the pain. The resulting lack of mobility will undoubtedly put him at a serious disadvantage against the phenomenal hand-eye coordination of legendary note-taker Charles Hill. Even so, Kennedy’s superior experience, fiery passion and British accent will bring him the win.

    Like I said before, I have only the power to suggest these matchups. It is up to us as a community to come together and use our well-practiced Yale social activism to bring these battles to fruition. So I beseech you — write e-mails, make phone calls, create fake Twitter accounts for the suggested competitors and start talking trash to get them fired up ( “@ Flower Lady: BRING IT”). This is about proving that Yale is not only intellectually and socially superior to the rest of the Ivy League, but also the premiere athletic school in the nation. Oh, and word on the street is ESPN, Fox and CBS sports are already in bidding wars for the TV deals; one Flower Lady/Commons Swiper Lady showdown and budget cuts would be a mere memory. Make it happen.

    Chelsea Janes is a sophomore in Pierson College.

  7. Song: Won’t happen in 2010

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    Man, I’m really happy that 2009 is over.

    When Jan. 1 rolled around a year ago, my dad made his yearly ritual of checking his dozens of Chinese zodiac Web sites to determine each of our fortunes for 2009. Although we pretend to not care about the horoscopes as much as I pretend to not care about Frank the Entertainer’s new dating show (translation: I love it), he sat us all down to tell each of our fortunes for the year. When it was my turn, he said ominously, “oooohhh … very bad.”

    And that was all he said.

    Well, if my sports world of 2009 was any indication, Daddy Song was right. The Florida Gators lost against Alabama and forfeited a chance at back-to-back national championships (Tim Tebow cried. ‘Nuff said). The Jacksonville Jaguars controlled their own destiny in the playoffs before losing their last four games of the season to blow it (they lost against the Browns … THE BROWNS!?!?!?!?!). Yale squandered away a chance to beat the Cantabs (I know I defended “The Call,” but … fourth and 22??!?!?!?!?!?!). Oh, and I tore my ACL, MCL, and meniscus in a skiing accident at the beginning of winter break (I’m so depressed I don’t even have anything to add in this parenthetical addendum).

    So, yeah — I’m glad that 2009 is over. Which brings us to 2010! When I was thinking of ideas for this article, I could’ve very easily gone with the hackneyed “three sure predictions to come true in 2010!” approach. Instead, I’m going to go with the slightly less hackneyed “three goofy predictions impossible to come true in 2010!” To add more ridiculousness to that, I’ll even extend a Jersey Shore analogue that is equally unlikely to happen. As Mike would say, “we got a situation right here!”

    Prediction #1: An African-American athlete in the Winter Olympics will become more famous than any cast member from Jersey Shore.

    Think about the Winter Olympics. Snowboarding, ice-dancing, curling — no matter what event you think of, at no point will an African-American face come up. Although Vernon Davis, star tight end of the San Francisco 49ers, was made honorary captain of the U.S. curling team to help promote the sport (seriously, Google Vernon Davis curling), most people still don’t even know which sports are in the Winter Olympics, much less a black Winter Olympian. Bank on this one.

    Jersey Shore Anlogue: Snooki hooking up with any Winter Olympics athlete.

    Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, self-appointed inventor of the “poof” and resident midget of the house, has spent much of the season looking for love. However, according to her criteria, her man needs to be “juiced, tan and a guido.” She might seem desperate for a slippery luge ride, but until the International Olympics Committee incorporates competitive tanning as a winter sport, I don’t see Snooki paying attention to anybody involved with the Winter Olympics.

    Prediction #2: Lebron James gets caught using steroids.

    King James? Steroids? Puh-leeze. While The King’s absurdly sculpted 6-foot-8-inch, 245-pound body would make even Arnold Schwarzenegger feel inadequate, the man is just too much of a class act and too smart to fall for the false allure of steroids. Plus, when you’re already more athletic than everyone else in the world, why would you even need to cheat? Mark my words: there’s no way Lebron’s using steroids.

    Jersey Shore Analogue: Mike “The Situation” peeing in a cup and not turning up positive for PEDs.

    The man’s abs and biceps are literally begging to be released from his shirts. With all that muscle, a nice smile and a bangin’ tan, there should be no reason that “The Situation” doesn’t have more success with women — unless he’s ashamed of his steroid-shrunken “situation” below the belt. It’s either that or his personality, but seriously — the only situation Mike’s going to be in is of the congressional investigative variety.

    Prediction #3: Tom Brady leaves the NFL after JWoww exposes their affair to the media.

    Two words: Gisele Bundchen. If Tom Brady cheats on her, I’ll live out the rest of my days painting my nails pink and singing along to Selena Gomez. That is all.

    Jersey Shore Analogue: All housemates in the Jersey Shore are disease-free.

    Remember, herpes in remission is STILL herpes. Try and tell me Mike doesn’t have some kind of situation going on. I rest my case.

    So there you have it, my list of top-three sports and Jersey Shore events that have no chance of happening. I mean, it’s not like the most famous athlete in the world could fall from grace, a 40-year-old quarterback could lead his team to a first round bye, or a coach would go for it on fourth-and-22 with a lead late in the fourth quarter in the biggest game of the year, right? Wait … that all happened in 2009?

    Oops.

    John Song is a junior in Berkeley College.

  8. Gutman: Why do coaches coach?

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    Why do coaches coach football?

    To win? For the money? To affect the lives of their players? For a challenge?

    Different coaches offer different insights into their motivations for pacing the sidelines each week and dedicating their every waking hour (and in Urban Meyer’s case, some sleeping hours) to football. But the recent actions of several different coaches call into question their true motivations and their sanity.

    The most notable of these examples is former University of Southern California coach Pete Carroll. Despite what others may say about the pending allegations of improper benefits for USC players, Carroll likely did not leave because of the NCAA investigation at his school. Some think Carroll left USC because the Pac-10 is now a more competitive conference that USC cannot consistently dominate.

    But no matter what the NCAA discovered or what recruits Oregon (and their ugly neon jerseys) might sign, Carroll and every football fan knows USC could have continued recruiting at a high level and come back with renewed determination and a more experienced team next year and for seasons to come. Also, when a four-loss season is a disaster, things are going pretty well.

    Carroll left for the NFL for the same reasons Mike Shanahan returned to the NFL with the Redskins. The same 35 million reasons. Both of these coaches needed situations in which they felt they could thrive because they are competitive individuals, so their return would not have happened without full control over their teams’ football operations. But their decision ultimately hinged on the amount of money they would earn for their services.

    Not every coach seems to share Carroll and Shanahan’s desire to make the most money while fielding a competitive team. Nick Saban is a coach scrapping to put food on the table in the same way George Clooney is a starving actor. Saban works hard, produces results and is compensated well by the University of Alabama. But if he were offered an NFL coaching job, which he likely has been at some point in the last year, Saban likely wouldn’t take it even for $10 million per year. Saban, who smiles about as frequently as the Grinch, is never happy, but he seems fulfilled by his time at Alabama.

    Winning championships seems to be the sole goal of Nick Saban. He gets up each morning to win, not to tackle a challenge or continue earning his paycheck.

    Urban Meyer, the University of Florida coach whose dedication has caused him health problems, can also never be accused of bowing to the dollar. As his recent health problems and decision to step back from his head coaching duties show, Meyer does not neglect his family to fulfill some perverted desire to overcome an obstacle or to negotiate a better contract or a better job. Meyer commits himself completely to coaching the University of Florida because he, like Joe Paterno, seems to enjoy genuinely the long hours and constant criticism. Meyer revels in the thrill of victory, wallows in defeat and, like Paterno at Penn State and Bobby Bowden at Florida State, will only leave the game in a casket or when a board member physically escorts him off the campus.

    Carroll will fail in Seattle in the same way he failed in New England and with the Jets. And the way Saban crumbled in Miami. And Bobby Petrino went down in flames in Atlanta.

    College coaches should only make career moves based on desires centered on their football-related desires. Brian Kelly has a great shot to win a national championship at Notre Dame, so he’s likely going to accomplish his goal there. Former Washington Redskins running backs coach Stump Mitchell will be able to change the lives of young players at Southern University, so he seems to be a great hire as well.

    Carroll will accomplish his goal in Seattle and make tons of money. But he won’t be a football success there. All the people who someday want to be Pete Carroll and use big-time college football with its passionate fan bases and fragile teenage players as a springboard to make money need to reconsider their life plans. Pursuing that type of a coaching career leads to poor decisions in the quest for the fattest paycheck.

    So go do what every Yalie out for cash does: Send out applications to the investment banks where your hard work is duly compensated. Being a head coach is a rare privilege, not a means to a paycheck.

  9. Timm: My first last at Yale

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    It came and went almost too fast to really understand.

    No, I’m not talking about the finale of “Dancing with the Stars.” I’m also not going to pretend I have anywhere near the pop culture knowledge of John Song, so I’m just going to cut to the chase.

    I’m talking about The Game.

    This year’s Game has been one of the most covered “Games” in history despite everyone’s previous expectations. Thanks in large part to what is now being called “The Call,” (just be glad it wasn’t branded “-gate” status), everyone has had time to weigh in with whatever full- or half-brained opinions they have formed with whatever extensive or tiny amount of football strategy knowledge they possess.

    I, however, am choosing to diplomatically sidestep this issue by saying that it really doesn’t matter anymore. The Game is over. What matters now is how we remember this event that was so meaningful for so many people.

    Harvard-Yale, which always holds special significance as possibly the only time when Ivy League football is in the spotlight, had an even bigger meaning for me this year.

    The Game was my first last of my senior year.

    Yes, people, my first last. Seniors, y’all know what I’m talkin’ about. Every event, every holiday, every tiny part of senior year suddenly becomes filled with this pseudo-meaningful importance as though life will not go on after Yale. We think that making a point of acknowledging each of these moments will enhance our memories of senior year, but instead they inevitably add to the growing anxiety about life after “The Bubble.”

    Now, I don’t want this to be a sappy piece about how sad it is to contemplate leaving Yale. Sentiments about that actually run along the lines of usually pretty freakin’ scared, sometimes excited and always left wondering.

    Instead, I want to treat my last Game, my first last of the year, in the style of Gerry’s funeral in “P.S. I Love You.” I want to celebrate this event with small “shots” (non-whiskey in this case) from the day of The Game that made it one of my favorite memories of the year to date.

    1. The tailgate: The tailgate is a Yale tradition like none other, to which I have already attributed an entire column. This year’s was especially crazy. A look back at the pictures shows nothing but wall-to-wall bodies, Solo cups abounding, and food and drinks flowing. Personal favorites included the softball team as Yale-cape wearing, Captain Underpants-esque face-painted superheroes and the class of circa 1999. If you missed anything, see the Fox Sports special, “Geeks Gone Wild.”

    2. Yale alumni: As a senior, it’s always a treat when the classes of the last three years come back to visit Yale. The interesting part is gauging just how many love their jobs and how many wish they were back here. Either way, it’s always a fun time catching up and reliving The Game’s past. Next year, it will be our turn. … Weird!

    3. Harvard visitors: I know I will probably catch a lot of flack for this, but I have some great Harvard friends. Over the years, cultivating these rivalry-friendships has been one of my favorite parts of the Ivy League experience. Nights spent watching “300” and trying to decide the debate of whether Yale or Harvard is the Sparta (obviously Yale) will never be forgotten.

    4. The actual Game: This might be the part, unfortunately, that usually the least amount of people will be able to relate to. This year, though, the Bowl was absolutely packed! I’ll admit that I didn’t get to The Game until after halftime, thereby missing all of Yale’s scoring (we scored our 10 points in the first quarter.) However, what I lacked in face time, I made up for in vocalizing. Lucky enough to sneak our way to the first row on the 50-yard line, my friends and I nearly lost our voices this year, through the ups and the downs, and lived to tell about it.

    5. Post-Game sprint: This was a new tradition, or rather a one-time event, which capped off my first last Game as an undergraduate. Two of my closest friends and I made our way down to the field after The Game ended. Despite the obvious sentiment, it was a time to really cherish the first last. (I’m a huge sap, I know.) Regardless, we were looking for a way to really solidify this experience into memory. Answer: 100-yard dash! End zone to end zone. With a touchdown dance to boot.

    There you have it. The Game wrap-up with only minimal mention of Call-gate (just doesn’t have the same ring, I guess). I hope my first last was as memorable for you as it was for me.

    Tracy Timm is a senior in Pierson College.

  10. Goldsmith: Defending the ‘band-wagon fan’

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    As I was kickin’ back in my common room Monday night, watching Drew Brees single-handedly decimate Bill Belichick’s Patriots defense, I decided to start a Christmas wish list to send to my parents. The first item, an authentic New Orleans Saints football jersey, with “Brees 9” on the back (although after my behavior over Thanksgiving break, coal might be more realistic). My suitemate immediately accused me of jumping on the bandwagon.

    I obviously defended myself, as everyone in my position always does. I like the Saints for a number of reasons, all of which I rationalize as legitimate. Star wide-out Marques Colston hails from my hometown and local high school, I have family roots in New Orleans, and certainly not least of all, Brees is my fantasy quarterback, and while I am 10th out of 14 in the Yale Swimming fantasy football league (it is worth mentioning that I have the third highest point total), a manager must support his players.

    Okay, so maybe these are ostensibly some pretty weak reasons to root for a team, and my suitemate is certainly not the only one who would criticize me for wanting a Saints jersey this year when they’re 11–0.

    I am here however, to defend myself and countless others that wrongfully face the nasty accusation of being a “bandwagon fan.”

    There is a difference between rooting for a team like the Saints versus rooting for their Monday night opponent, the New England Patriots, despite their common successes. Understanding this nuance helps avoid misuse of the b-word.

    The Patriots have appeared in the playoffs 16 times, winning their division 11 times, their conference six times, and the Super Bowl three times. The Saints, by contrast, have reached the playoffs only six times. While the Saints are the better team at the moment, New England has been football’s dynasty this decade. Wouldn’t donning a Tom Brady jersey be worse? Come to think of it, my brother wears one often, so maybe we’re just bandwagoners by nature.

    Regardless, nothing excuses anyone from wearing a Derek Jeter jersey.

    It is an indisputable fact of the modern world that big markets are likely to have good teams. It is not by coincidence that the Lakers are perpetual NBA finals hopefuls, just as the Yankees and Sox will always get those AL East and Wildcard spots.

    So when a team from a town with a smaller sports market is successful, isn’t it all the more compelling to cheer them on? Who wouldn’t support a Memphis Grizzlies run to the NBA finals?

    New Orleans only got its second major sports franchise, the Hornets of the NBA, in 2002.

    Let’s also not forget the powerful emotional motives for fandom. Even the most staunch Yankee-haters had to have been somewhat moved by the Pinstripes’ post-9/11 run to the 2001 World Series, and the impact this had on the city and its fans.

    So yes, part of me wants to see the Saints succeed because only four years ago, the Superdome in which they play their home games was used to house families displaced from their homes wrecked by hurricane Katrina. Since then, they hired a new head coach and have added a number of new players, including Brees, who, with his wife, is highly involved in helping underprivileged youth in his community. The Saints’ first playoff appearance with this new staff ended in a loss in the NFC Championship game in the 2006-’07 season, but anyone watching remembers how electrified the city of New Orleans was.

    Now, with a few more years of experience, the team is set to make another playoff run, and Monday’s win against the Patriots was the first test of their legitimacy as a championship contender.

    And so we arrive back at the initial debate, the inner “true fan” in me berating the “bandwagon fan” for wanting that Brees jersey so badly after watching him play Monday night.

    I admit it, it’s fun to root for winners. Part of the reason I love LeBron James is that he has made his team a winning one. Getting excited over an athlete’s skills and his or her effect on their sport should be natural to all fans.

    Winning is not everything, and it is even more inspiring when a star athlete plays a large role in his or her community, or sponsors a charity, or perhaps a prep school like my buddy Andre Agassi.

    Essentially, there are countless reasons why anyone would choose to love or hate a player, and while many are not legitimate in the eyes of others, fandom should be personal.

    Ironically, a commercial during the game advertised coverage of a new mini-series about “Real Fans” upcoming during the season. Let’s dispel the idea that the more body paint, the better the fan. Moreover, let’s abolish the concept that being a true fan requires memorization of their defensive playbook or every available statistic. What’s to say that one game isn’t enough to inspire a newly devoted fan? We should base our support on how much that team or player inspires us personally, rather than where we live or how long we have followed their seasons.

    So for now, I will go ahead and get my hopes up that Santa will stuff a Saints jersey in my stocking rather than a Central Penn Piranha jersey (although they are the winningest team in Minor League Football Histoy at 215–14), because I look good in black and gold.

    Sam Goldsmith is a junior in Branford College.

    Correction: Dec. 2, 2009

    An earlier version of this column misstated New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees’ jersey number. It is 9, not 8.

  11. Song: Williams’ call wasn’t a bad one

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    It wasn’t a bad call.

    No, I’m not crazy (even though I did watch a marathon of “The Hills” over Thanksgiving break). In any other situation, in any other season, the call to go for it on fourth-and-22 is an indefensible call. But at The Game 2009, “The Call” wasn’t indefensible though the result makes it seem a stupid decision. In fact, it was a great call that just didn’t turn out the way we wanted.

    Ever since Tom Williams came to Yale, it was clear the guy has a flair for the dramatic that surpasses even that of Spencer and Heidi. (Two “Hills” references in two paragraphs? Yeah, I went there.) At his inaugural press conference, Williams promised we were going to beat Harvard. In his words, Harvard had our number the last few years, and it was time to change. For three quarters last Saturday, it certainly looked like it — until Yale began to lose momentum.

    That’s when Williams’ flair for the dramatic resulted in the fourth-and-22 fake-punt-reverse call. To some, it was the result of New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick phoning up Williams and telling him to make a move worse than Belichick’s own fourth-and-two blunder. But I’m not here to talk about Bill Belichick.

    The number one reason why Williams’ gutsy call is defensible is the fact that the team had been setting up the play all year. Over the course of the season, the Bulldogs had run two fourth-down fake punts to captain Paul Rice ’10 — both of which were completely unexpected runs to the right sideline for momentum-shifting big gains. The first one resulted in the only touchdown Yale scored in a 7–0 game at Lehigh that would have made Ugly Betty seem like a Victoria’s Secret Angel. To give you more of the theatrical nature of Tom Williams, that fourth-down call came on a fourth-and-seven, AFTER Williams intentionally took a delay-of-game penalty to make it look like he was giving our punter, Tom Mante ’10, more room. As Rice took the snap to the right sideline for six, Mante even pretended to punt the ball and fall to the ground in a feigned sign of exertion. Somebody give the man an Oscar.

    The second fake punt came at Princeton when, once again, Rice received the snap and ran right for a first down. That first down set up a Yale comeback that, though it ultimately fell short, helped to erase a 14-point first-half deficit and swing momentum in Yale’s favor. Both fourth-down calls had a purpose, and both fourth-down calls put Yale in a position to win.

    Fast forward to The Game. When Rice initially received the snap, I actually felt a smile curling around the corners of my lips. Harvard had been studying film and knew to stuff a Rice run up the right sideline on fake punts. But Williams was one step ahead. As the entire Harvard defense committed to Rice, time seemed almost to slow down as my eyes anticipated the change in direction of the ball.

    But when Rice flipped the ball to John Powers ’13 on the reverse, it seemed to catch Powers just a bit out of stride, and he compensated by taking a wider sweep than he was aiming for. That little bit of poor execution led to a run seven yards shy of the first down. It wasn’t a bad call — in fact, it was a smart one that preyed upon Harvard’s studious film sessions. As Williams said, Harvard had our number the last few years, and Williams intended to be one step ahead on this call to drive his point home.

    But fourth-and-22, you say, is TOO %#@^* LONG! I can’t dispute that, and in retrospect, it wasn’t the right call because we failed. But the result doesn’t stop it from being a good call at the time, and it certainly doesn’t take away from Williams’ coaching skills.

    As someone who has followed this team probably more closely than anyone not involved with Yale football, it is obvious that Williams is innately in tune with momentum. In fact, you could say he’s obsessed with momentum more than a Star Wars nerd is obsessed with Princess Leah’s gold bikini. Actually, that’s probably not a physical possibility. In any case, let’s just say Williams likes momentum. The Call was all about momentum.

    In a game with more emotions and hormones running through it than a pimply middle school dance, Williams and Harvard coach Tim Murphy avoided their punters like the plague and went for it on fourth down virtually every time in an attempt to find that one play to kill the other team’s spirit. In the first half, Yale was the one who converted on those fourth downs, while Williams’ aggressive defense stuffed Harvard’s fourth downs every time.

    But in the second half, a combination of conservative Yale play-calling and Harvard’s aggression slowly milked momentum away, culminating in the Crimson’s first successful fourth down conversion of the game. A missed false-start call from the referees later, and Harvard had its first touchdown of the game. The Cantab fans were roused from their food- and “drink”-induced slumber, and I could feel things slipping away from us.

    Now, I know what you’re all thinking: If Belichick can be criticized for trying to stop momentum with a fourth-and-two call against Peyton “I’m actually the Colts’ offensive coordinator” Manning, then Williams’ call is even more indefensible when he is playing against an Ivy-caliber quarterback.

    Well, Harvard’s quarterback might not have been Peyton Manning, but the Yale defense was no New England Patriots either. In fact, over the last few weeks of the season, injuries and wear-and-tear have actually shown this defense to be easily exploited when it is forced to play too long. The second half was a three-and-out-a-palooza for Yale, and the defense was certainly not the same as it had been in the first half. The aggressive call on fourth-and-22 was Williams’ attempt to kill two birds with one stone — get his defense some more rest and swipe momentum back to Yale’s side.

    Ultimately, The Call is really about risk versus reward. The risk, obviously, is giving up a short field touchdown to lose The (Most Important) Game of the year. But think about the reward. A converted fourth-and-22 keeps the clock running, all but guaranteeing a win. A converted fourth-and-22 proclaims loud and clear that Yale’s play-fake is one step ahead of Harvard’s machinations (for the first time in forever). But more importantly, a fourth-and-22 delivers a swift kick to the Cantabs’ sensitive place before defenestrating them into a taunting sea of middle fingers. A fourth-and-22 conversion finally makes The Game a rivalry and not a domination.

    Think about it. Before the game, not even Yale’s ardent fans thought this year’s squad had a chance. The Bulldogs, at 2-4 in the conference, were heavy underdogs to a one-loss Crimson team still in the hunt for an Ivy League title. It was Williams’ first rebuilding year, and no one expected much out of him. The players probably wouldn’t have admitted it, but a win was probably not in their minds. The cost of the decision — a loss in The Game 2009 — was all but foreseen before the players had even put on their pads. So what if they lost? As former NFL coach Dennis Green infamously screamed, “THEY WERE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!” If Yale had just come out of the Yale Bowl with another loss, we would’ve bemoaned it but ultimately accepted it.

    But The Call was meant to be historical. The Call appealed to Williams’ flair for the dramatic. The Call could have catapulted The Game 2009 and this Williams team into the annals of Yale lore forever. For all the i-bankers in the audience crunching the risk-reward numbers, does a vengeful, historic victory trump the risks of just another loss?

    I say yes. (For the sake of full disclosure, I failed Ray Fair’s economics class.)

    The Call was the epitome of Williams’ career at Yale so far, and to be honest, I wouldn’t have it any other way. His aggressive play-calling and firm belief in the way special teams can influence a game’s momentum made this year’s Game a great one for the fans. Face it, The Game 2009 was the best one you’ve seen in the past few years, even if we couldn’t pull it out. Plus, let’s keep in mind that this was Williams’ first year as head coach. As the players become more accustomed to his system and as he recruits players fit for his plans, this team will only get better. Williams’ style is what makes things exciting for players and fans alike, and hopefully, The Call doesn’t turn him into Jack Siedlecki 2.0.

    For a coach that simply asks that his players give an all-out effort and lay it on the line each and every week, can we blame Williams for the call that laid his reputation as a coach out on the line in search for a momentous victory?

    In retrospect, it wasn’t the correct call. But it was a helluva good one.

    John Song is a junior in Berkeley College.