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To All My Listeners Out There

If I accomplish little in life, I will at least be able to say that I singlehandedly caused the Berkeley Master’s Office to impose practice hours, so that the poor souls upstairs can sleep a little.

Send in the Broads

Broad City embraces the reality of authentic female friendship. It is true that a world in which women spend time with one another is not unusual for television. What distinguishes Glazer and Jacobson from the pack is their portrayal of a relationship that is easy and uncomplicated and effortless.

For a New Student-Athlete

Growing up in suburban Long Island, athletics have held a central place in my life for as long as I can remember.

They Never Said Anything About Coming Back

“Was it incredible?” “Did it change your life?” “Did you find yourself?” Sure! My semester abroad experience was unforgettable, but I certainly didn’t “find myself” in the way that pop culture dictates. Maybe I didn’t change much because I’ve been lucky enough to have traveled since early childhood, but in reality, it was probably due to my newfound madrileño lifestyle. The gamut of Amsterdam City tours, lazy nature walks with Spanish families and endless nights on the dance floor of Teatro Barceló did not make for a “new me.”

fLeXtInG ;)

There’s flirting, and there’s texting, and there’s flexing, and then, there’s flexting. Flexting, not unlike flexing, in that it is a display of muscle power (finger muscles, naturally), is the love child of flirting and texting. In the simplest possible definition: flirty texting. The term flexting entered my vocabulary the other day as my friend anxiously checked the time stamp of his most recently sent text to a potential romantic interest. 8:35, fuck. My friend had, he dejectedly explained, sent his last “flext” at 7:52, forty minutes after he had received a flext (7:12, post-meridiem), which meant that it had been 43 minutes with nothing. No banter-laden retort, no emoji, no hope.

Calling Home

My grandmother used to knit me sweaters before every winter.

More than a British Accent

As my old youth club’s motto dictated, “Labels are for jars, not people.”

The Lies We Tell But the Secrets We Keep

High school small talk was always themed. During junior year it was the SATs. The next fall was nothing but college applications. At prom, no […]

What Dirty Dishes Taught Me About People

It’s true — college bathrooms suck. But you want to know what sucks even more? Dirty college bathrooms. Sharing two showers and two sinks with […]

Deconstructing the Section Asshole

There is one part of our history and tradition that the tour guides frequently leave out of their “guide to Yale.” Yale is home to […]

Sparrow 780F-4

Most sentient beings seek some sense of stability, searching for homes, carving out spaces for themselves. The Taínos settled in the island of Hispaniola. Your pet dog has a favorite ottoman, just like you have a favorite cubicle in the library. The alpha wolf marks his territory of choice with urine. I paint my bedroom “Sparrow” — a light-medium gray, eggshell finish, mauve in some lights, periwinkle in others.