Pining after your FroCo? Dying to get on the orgy panlist? Sick of seeing khakis on men? You’re in luck! Welcome to Sex on the WKND, YDN’s anonymous column dedicated to answering your burning questions about sex, love and anything in between. Obsessing over sex is a Yale tradition as old as the Oldest College Daily itself. This year, we have a love-guru columnist who has done it all — including everyone on the aforementioned orgy panlist — and is ready to share. Whether you have a seminar with a hookup-gone-wrong or accidentally sent a raunchy text to your chemistry study group, Sex on the WKND is ready to help. Don’t be shy. Submit your anonymous questions, stories, and tips here.
This Monday, Yale Course Search will open with the 2024-2025 course listings. If reading that sentence doesn’t already make you want to throw up –– congratulations, you don’t know how to read.
Personally, my only requirements for courses here are that I can either 1) fantasize about the professor while I stare blankly into space or 2) fantasize about my seminar crush while I stare blankly into space or 3) fantasize about the subject of study while I stare blankly into space. Unfortunately, this has meant I’ve spent most of my valuable Yale education picturing Julius Caesar going down on Calpurnia, and wondering whether Nietzsche’s mustache would tickle.
I was able to get a sneak peek at the various courses that are being offered next year, and I’ve decided to dedicate this week’s SOTW to a noble, academically focused pursuit of making sure my readers have the best schedule possible. Find below some standouts from next year’s offerings (although beware, they might fill up quickly):
ECON 156: How to Properly Bring Up Your Banking Summer Internship in Conversations Where No One Asks About Your Banking Summer Internship
Course Description: This course teaches students the various rhetorical techniques necessary to ensure they can talk about their JP Morgan internship in every human interaction they have, even when it’s completely unnecessary and/or inappropriate. Upon completion, students will be able to navigate funerals, anti-war protests and pillow talk knowing how to tastefully mention how they’ll be spending their summer in “the City.”
BIOL 334: The Human Body: Limiting Bowel Leakage After Dining Hall “Flounder”
Course Description: Yale students are faced biweekly with questions like, does someone important in Yale administration have an uncle with a failing Flounder fishery? Am I the last person at this school with working tastebuds and a normal gastrointestinal tract? This course aims to answer those questions, and so much more. No necessary prerequisites, although students with a keen academic interest in aquatic bottom feeders –– or a personal interest in feeding on bottoms –– are particularly welcome.
SOCY 123: The Difference Between Meaningful Friendships and People You Go Out With
Course Description: Enrollment limited to sophomores and juniors who are beginning to ask themselves, “If I only hang out with them when I’m drinking, are they really my friends?” Additional questions that’ll be covered include, “Are they really your best friends, or were they just the first people you met freshman year?”
ANTH 269: Male Friendship I: Activities that Allow You and Your Bro to Make Eye Contact
Course Description: Let’s face it: you and Brad are best friends, but you’ve never had a good look at his face. When you hang out you play video games, watch football, degrade women and stand side-by-side while looking at various third objects. This course will teach you (and your bro) ways to sit opposite of each other and look directly into one another’s eyes. Prerequisite to “ANTH 270: Male Friendship II: Am I in Love With My Bro?”
PLSC 277: How to Identify Future Presidents, Collect Their Blackmail
Course Description: Brady (President of the Buckley Institute and the Involuntary Celibacy Club) has convinced your 84-year-old “there were good people on January 6” history professor it’s reasonable to abort himself, let alone fetuses. But Brady’s got charisma and is just average-looking enough that his face could be put on campaign posters without putting people off.
So yes, in a few decades, the Brady who only brushes his teeth at night will probably be the leader of the Free World. But he also anonymously slut shames women on Fizz –– and there’s your window.
CHEM 499: Is my TF into me?
Course Description: Half-semester course (the answer is yes).
BIOL 102: Ensuring Your Girlfriend Finishes
Course Description: Introductory biology lecture course with no prerequisites. NOTE: in the past students have taken this as a “gut,” but understand the intellectual and physical effort that this course demands. We typically recommend that students take this Credit/D/Fail, along with a lighter course load. If the course reaches capacity, priority will be given to economics majors.
Happy bluebooking!
<3 SOTW