Aquarius

Shut your laptop and put away that pset. It’s time to party! Take some time to treat yourself this week. It’s your season, after all — you deserve it.

Pisces

Stop letting other people meddle in your love life, Pisces. You may be a water sign, but now’s not the time to “go with the flow.” Take charge, and let your crush know how you feel just in time for V-Day.

Aries

Stop reading this and cry. Yes, seriously. Grab some Kleenex and crank up the Mitski. Bottling up your emotions doesn’t do you any good — it’s time to confront them. 

Taurus

Text them right now. You know exactly who I’m talking about. 

Gemini

Be careful who you talk shit to, Gemini. You’ve had a lot to say recently, and people are finding out all the things you say about them. Did someone say karma? 

Cancer

You might not want to admit it but yes, you do have a crush on them. No, they do not feel the same way. Do yourself a favor and move on. 

Leo

It’s okay to shut up sometimes. Contrary to popular belief, not everyone wants to hear your opinion! And if you don’t have anything nice to say, it really is better to not say anything at all. 

Virgo

Stop taking yourself so seriously. Go watch some Disney movies, and eat some dino nuggets. It’s way past time to take your inner child on a playdate. 

Libra

Breathe. Sleep. Feed yourself. You’ve been super busy, Libra, and you’re absolutely killing it in everything you do. Just don’t forget to take care of yourself, okay? 

Scorpio

Clean your room. It’s an absolute pigsty. You and your suitemates all know it. You’re never too busy for basic hygiene.

Sagittarius

You’ve been turning heads, Sag. You might not realize it, but you’ve got what some might call “W Rizz.” Who knows? The next love of your life could be right in front of your eyes … if only you weren’t so oblivious. 

Capricorn

I’m not going to tell you to drop that class that you hate, because we both know you wouldn’t listen to me. Just remember: it’s never too early to Credit/D/Fail!