Well, we’re here, everyone. After watching everyone subtly (and sometimes inadvertently) flex their wealth on their Instagram stories over spring break, we’re all back on Yale’s highly enjoyable campus in the midst of an admissions scandal. In these trying times, I can think of no better strategy to welcome back the sun and greenery around campus than a little self-care. Midterms? Absolutely no concern if you have the right energy around you. In pursuit of my own betterment, I’ve tried out a fair number of self-care strategies that you can try, too.
One of the all-time classic Yalie self-care moves is what I call the four-step solution. First, call an Uber using whatever discount the Yale College Council sent out this week (since they’re actually doing things now), enter in “Union Station,” hop on the ever so reliable Metro-North and yep, you guessed it, just go home and don’t come back. Honestly, just leaving Yale is probably one of the best decisions you could make for your mental health. Some might find this option ridiculous and unaffordable, but that doesn’t stop Yalies from doing it. But, if you are like me and are stuck at this institution, don’t worry! You still have options!
Something I’ve found incredibly beneficial is to just ignore the fact that I have a 35-page research paper due at the end of the semester for a seminar in which I’ve said four words, words that were unrelated to the reading, and do a facemask. It’s a tried-and-true method of both healthy procrastination and maybe some skin care? On the topic of skin care, people say you’re supposed to drink water? I thought people just had Nalgene bottles to put stickers on. Regardless, with this strategy, you can just pee all the time and thus spend all your time in the bathroom. This way, you can just spend all your time in the bathroom, so no one has to see your acne. It’s a win-win.
While you’re drinking (water), why not eat? Order some Papa John’s (#Yale50 if you know, you know) and just gain 22 pounds in garlic sauce instead of trying the next strategy: working out. Some say this provides them with mental clarity but personally, I would rather be winded from walking up a flight of stairs than spend any of my time doing real physical fitness. The best form of working out anyway, if you do choose that strategy, is Wii Sports — God’s gift to college campuses everywhere. Nothing brings out people’s real personalities better than feeling inferior in a virtual tennis competition.
Maybe none of these are working for you; you could just sit on Cross Campus when it’s 45 degrees and hope the sun makes you happy like a plant from osmosis. See and be seen? Love to see it. On the topic of plants, my personal all-time favorite strategy is to just get a plant and raise it like your child because when you can’t take care of yourself, why not channel that energy into something else? Have you ever felt a more beautiful moment than when you see your plant getting a new leaf? Thought not. By the way, Felix (my Christmas cactus) is thriving.
Self-care can be anything that’s just a small moment to make your day a little better. Try something small like scoring a perfect $9 Durfee swipe just to tell yourself you can kind of do math and boost your self-confidence. Watch that one really weird documentary in your Netflix suggested that you aren’t really sure how it got there but you also know exactly how it got there. Take that nap at 3:30 in the afternoon. You weren’t going to class anyway. If you were going to work out, just run and keep running. Don’t come back. On a serious note, though, make sure to take the time to do something every day that makes you happy. Self-care is for everyone. It’s the little things that make this place we all love a little more bearable for us all.
Lindsay Jost | firstname.lastname@example.org .