Last week, the state of Connecticut launched a two-year, and $22 million marketing campaign in order to “aggressively” promote the state as a go-to destination for tourism, enterprise and family fun. (This is incidentally also the plot of a “30 Rock” episode.)

Apparently, cohesive state marketing can foster economic growth and improve the general welfare of the Nutmeg State. But the plan is also necessary for competitive purposes.

“For the last two years, Connecticut has been the only state in the region to have allocated no marketing money for stimulating business development and tourism,” Malloy said in a press release. This new marketing strategy seems like a thinly veiled act of war targeting our New England brethren, especially—though this is really just a guess—New Hampshire.

Connecticut needs a brand-new identity, but what should it be? Most campus favorites—Wenzels, bulldogs and the like—are indigenous to New Haven, not Connecticut, and far be it from us to monopolize such an important initiative. Here are a few fun, little-known facts about the Constitution State — kudos to you if you can work any of them into a pitch.

1) Connecticut’s motto is qui transtulit sustine, which translates roughly to “he who transplanted, sustains.” These words of wisdom make slightly more sense when juxtaposed with Connecticut’s agrarian coat of arms and Colonial roots. It’s no “Live Free or Die,” but, hey, we’ll take it.

2) In a similar vein, Connecticut’s state song is “Yankee Doodle.” Other notable state songs include “Do You Realize??” (Oklahoma) and “Rocky Mountain High” (Colorado), so this is a battle we are objectively losing.

3) Connecticut neglected to ratify the 18th Amendment. Much to the glee of early 20th century college kids, the 18th Amendment happened to be Prohibition.

4) The can opener, the submarine and the Frisbee all got their start in Connecticut.

5) Connecticut’s state animal is the sperm whale.

Listen, there are some great things about Connecticut. Our convenient East Coast location, Le Petit Café, the Merritt Parkway and delightfully sporadic weather patterns (re: who doesn’t love snow in October?) all converge to make Connecticut a state arguably worthy of the Constitution’s name. Surely Governor Malloy and his Don Drapers can think of something. Maybe less like this:

or this:

and maybe more like this: