I am an agnostic young woman from California. My mother’s side of the family is of Jewish descent, my father was a Buddhist monk. On Jan. 1, 2025, I sent a text saying, “I hope 2025 brings you no end of health, happiness, laughter and exciting change.”

She is a devout Christian living in Connecticut, attending college in Tennessee. She goes to church on Sundays, she holds steadfast faith in God’s plan. On Jan. 1, 2025, she sent a text saying, “I hope you have the best year yet. May God protect you and bless you.”

She and I have spent the majority of our lives on opposite sides of the country. Up until a few months ago, we had never crossed paths. Our friendship is new, too new to be coddled by a time-developed tolerance stemming from years of closeness. We do not have a shared history that forces us into a state of mutual understanding. The nascence of our bond makes our friendship fragile; miscommunication and misunderstanding have the power to jeopardize it. 

And yet, as I saw these two messages sit side by side on my phone, I couldn’t help but smile and feel peace.

In a world rife with profound division and prejudice, it was so refreshing to see a small but deeply powerful representation of unconditional love. I was not offended by her religious verbiage. She was not offended by my lack thereof. I appreciated her message and understood its meaning as it came from her, just as she appreciated mine and understood its sincerity as it came from me.

One of the greatest pieces of wisdom I have received is, “Seek to understand before seeking to be understood.” Get to know the person sitting next to you. Learn to speak each other’s languages.

And by language, I mean ways of speaking. I mean religious allusions and secular verbiage. I mean slang, formal vocabulary and cultural references. Respect it all. Admire it all. Learn it all. Lean in to those conversations and try to speak the languages of your loved ones. Every person has a unique dialect no more important or correct than the other, and together, they shape a deeply human language.

We often expect the messages that come our way to be entirely and perfectly tailored to us. We are quick to be taken aback when they are not directly attuned to our specific beliefs and backgrounds. We forget that there is a sentient writer behind them, an individual with completely different perspectives and worldviews that influence their language. 

How different would our world be if we interpreted messages as beautiful reflections of their senders rather than offensive attacks on their recipients?

I am beyond flattered that a young woman with such closeness to her faith and her God took time out of her life to intentionally share that love with me. I am moved that she was not only willing, but eager to bring me into her world in a way that demonstrated tolerance, respected boundaries and still fostered a connection, opening both a door and a dialogue.

She and I are learning to speak each other’s languages. We are leaning in to better communication defined by mutual respect and an understanding and appreciation of our differences. Whether you wish to call it evolving as humans, tapping into our personhood, righting ancient wrongs or rebuilding from the devastation of the Tower of Babel, this small moment gave me hope and brought me joy.

In every situation, we have the opportunity to grow as people and citizens of the world, or we may choose to feel overly offended by someone wishing us a “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Holidays.” We can decide to expand and evolve, or we can decide to self-stagnate and collectively regress. Every day, every moment that we are breathing, we have the freedom to make this choice. 

In this year and all those that follow, I choose to learn these languages that my friends and loved ones speak. Taking the time to truly know another, and to assign value and meaning to their words by first embracing their unique personhood, is to me one of the greatest and purest forms of respect. Whether we choose to call it brotherly love, goodwill, compassion or fellowship, rebuilding from Babel requires embracing our diversity while celebrating our shared humanity.

And humanity is a language I believe all of us speak.

MIA GORLICK is a first year in Pierson College. She can be reached at mia.gorlick@yale.edu.