Lucy Koerner

Arriving in the U.S. for college comes with a whirlwind of new experiences — classes, dorm life, dining halls and, of course, parties. For many international students, nights out in America feel like stepping into a completely different world. It’s not just the places or the people that are new, but the entire going out culture: from what we wear, to how we get ready, to what we carry with us. Back home, whether it’s in Brazil, Portugal, the Philippines, Turkey, or wherever we’re from, the night starts late, the fashion is excessive and getting ready is a ritual of glamor, chaos and excitement.

But here in the States, it’s jeans instead of dresses, cramped dorm rooms instead of clubs and most importantly — no one’s fussing over the details. The famous words “Let’s go out tonight” stand as an uncertain invite, opening doors to the best and the worst of nights. 

This is a reflection from us, four international students — Laura from Brazil, Maria from Portugal, Inez from the Philippines and Mina from Turkey — on how we navigate the differences between the nights out we are used to with the distinctly American experience of college nightlife.

Dressing up! — or down?

In Rio, getting ready for a night out feels like an event in itself. Around 11:30 p.m. my friends and I are just starting to gather at someone’s house, turning it into a mini fashion hub. The music is playing, laughter fills the room and the energy is high as we pull out our carefully chosen outfits. It’s always something bold — dresses that make a statement, skirts with just the right cut or cool pants that fit perfectly. Everything is stylish and a little daring! 

No look is complete without accessories. We look through high-heeled boots and search for the perfect necklace, a chic pair of earrings or the right purse. Hair is a whole production, with someone straightening, someone else curling and makeup being refined. Before we head out, there’s that final check: someone always shouts, “Does everyone have their ID, tickets, cash, lip gloss?” because you can’t leave without those essentials.

At Yale, the scene is totally different. By 11:30 p.m. we’re already out, so the frenzy begins earlier in a cramped dorm room filled with clothes piled on beds and chairs. The vibe is laid-back — jeans and a casual top are totally fine. Hair and makeup? Not as scandalous. A quick swipe of mascara and blush before we’re good to go. We usually borrow tops from each other last minute and might do a quick touch-up in front of a shared and foggy dorm mirror.

All you need for a night out here is your dorm key, Yale ID and maybe your phone — right? But just in case, Yale Secure or your FroCo are always a call away — though you might want to avoid that! Sure, American night outs may feel worlds apart from Rio’s glamorous vibes, but there’s a certain charm to both get-ready rituals.

– Laura Binenbojm, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Music and dancing 

It struck me when I walked into my first college party and saw everyone around me standing and talking. Back home, in the darkness of the Manila evening, it is rare to see a body that isn’t consumed by music. I would routinely look at my friends with wide eyes on nights out; as the opening beats of our favorite songs played, we assumed our positions on the dancefloor like clockwork. Holding hands, colliding and twirling under each other’s arms —  if you weren’t on the dancefloor, you weren’t at the party.

But, the drumbeats of house music back home recede in my ears as I sing “Party in the USA” with my suitemates. I forget my choreographed dance numbers from home as I raise my arm to awkwardly “frat flick” with those around me. We pause mid conversation to shout song lyrics to each other. The conversation continues. The atmosphere of Philippine and American gatherings each hold a unique sense of intimacy, whether this be through shaking your hips on the dance floor, or getting to know the boy across the hall. While my friends back home would go hours into the night without saying a word to each other — a simple smile across the dancefloor would suffice —- my friends here at Yale find themselves in the most engaging of conversations with people they have just met. There’s an unspoken intimacy within these conversations, a yearning to connect with those around us.

Perhaps while we go out to be seen in Manila, we go out to be heard in college. 

– Inez Chuidian, Manila, Philippines

Going Back “Home”

In Lisbon, the hours of pure fun I just had make me momentarily forget how cold the wind is and how my makeup is not nearly as pristine as it was after dinner. What seems like a great night’s end is the beginning of a new — and I dare say better — adventure: Ubering back home.

Although sometimes a party Uber is appreciated — who doesn’t love some good house music and disco lights in a car to keep the party going — my favorite rides are the reflective ones. My friends and I, all squished into the recommended “4-person” vehicle,  recap our questionable decisions and unexpected encounters. Laughing at everything, because everything is hilarious during the Uber ride back home; being vulnerable with my best friends pretending there isn’t a literal stranger listening to us; looking outside the window, and seeing the sun steadily rise… there is no comparison. My friends and I open the door of the chosen home of the night and tiptoe our way into the kitchen for a late-night — or rather, early-morning — snack to mark the official end of an amazing night.

I now find myself walking “home” from GHeav carrying an overpriced — but worth it — Ben and Jerry’s, to mark the official end of an — amazing? — night. Everything is a “5 minute walk” distance. And, although I appreciate the convenience, I miss standing outside of the club as someone requests the Uber; walking around aimlessly waiting for a driver to accept us; laughing and talking the whole ride; and discovering the ever-surprising next-day Uber ratings.

– Maria Gonçalves, Lisbon, Portugal

The Morning Debrief

In Rio, the night rarely ends when the music stops. Sometimes, after hours on the dance floor, my friends and I will head straight to a brunch spot, still in last night’s outfits and smudged makeup.

The debrief begins as soon as we sit down, plates of “pão de queijo,” or cheese bread, in front of us. We rehash every detail of the night — who said what, the wild moments, the random encounters. The city’s just starting to wake up, and here we are, sitting in a bright café, while the sun rises around us. 

Other times, if we’re too tired, the debrief happens later in the afternoon after a much needed sleep-in. FaceTime calls happen from our own beds, piecing together the night’s events. Since Rio is chaotic, we’re often scattered across the city, and unless you’re lucky enough to have a best friend as a neighbor — which, by chance, I did — seeing each other right away isn’t always possible.

But on perfect mornings, after a few hours of sleep, we’ll all head to the Rio beach. There’s nothing like sinking your feet into the sand, feeling the sun on you, and letting the waves wash away the exhaustion from the night before. 

At Yale, the morning debrief feels completely different. My personal favorite is Sunday brunch at Slifka, where the bagels hit the spot. I meet up with my friends, tired but ready to recap the night before. 

But the biggest difference is that here, there’s always an added tension — you never know who might show up. One minute, you’re laughing over something ridiculous that happened, and the next, the person you were just talking about is right there, standing in line behind you. There’s that frantic glance exchanged between friends, and a silent agreement to keep the debrief light, just in case. 

Yet after brunch, reality kicks in. We gather our things and head to Bass, because as much as we’d love to continue rehashing the night, Yale isn’t going to let us off that easy — we have to lock in!

– Laura Binenbojm, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

The Universal Pregame Experience

The feeling you get when you’re with your closest friends, listening to music, feeling good about yourselves and excited for the rest of your thrilling night is one that I think transcends different cities, countries and even continents! Coming to college, I was nervous about meeting new people, parting ways with my friends that I had known my whole childhood. Would I fit in? Would I find groups I click with? 

All these questions rushed through my mind as I stepped onto campus for the first time and began — what seemed like hundreds of — small talk conversations introducing myself to new people. To my blissful surprise, I soon met a group of friends who invited me to come over to their suite before going out on our first college adventure. I was relieved to hear that they too were experiencing the same shock I was as internationals adjusting to a whole new world far from home. Seeing people with different dress, routines, and music preferences all felt very new. I started to realize that this feeling was the experience of just about every other international I met. Sitting in the common room of my new friends, for the first time my sense of belonging quickly grew. 

The more we talked, the more I realized how we had the same taste in clothes, music, activities and overall the same understanding of fun. Maybe everything wasn’t that different? Maybe it was all the same experiences but in new ways? Hanging out making game plans for the rest of our night, getting ready, listening to music and of course gossiping about our endless new stories, I began to see the most fun part of my college experience. As we completed our finishing touches and decided to head out for our first night out, I got the very familiar exciting feeling, knowing that I found the people who make a whole new world feel familiar to me.

– Mina Ashaboglu, Istanbul, Turkey