Alice Mao
- Don’t read your admissions file. Who needs “STEM is very weak for our pool” or “she really thought she did something with that supplemental” reverberating in your ears all autumn long? Choose joy by realizing you’re here, in New Haven, despite the odds, and you have an essay worth 20 percent of your grade due next week anyways.
- Pumpkin spice is the salve for the soul. A mug of pumpkin spice tea will fix just about anything, from mental breakdowns in Bass to questioning your life decisions while sorting through the 10 emails that come in hourly from Yale.
- Don’t look at your phone when you’re walking down the stairs in Linsly-Chittenden Hall. By the way, Yale Acute Care does not have x-ray in the evening! Found that out the fun way. Your ankle, and ego, will need ice.
- Scroll through Tiktok’s Hopecore trend at 11 p.m. When you’re too scared for a trip to the communal showers, I recommend a rendition of Wild Geese by Mary Oliver: “You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting,” although you do have to brave the unisex bathroom that either smells like bleach or feet, depending on if it’s cleaning day or not. Also, it doesn’t matter what that beige mass that’s mashed up the drain of the shower is, just don’t forget your slides.
- Don’t check the CSC mobile-pay app for laundry. Even if it says there are 20 washing machines available, it’s likely they’re not actually working. Mix things up by lugging your laundry bag down two flights of stairs and through labyrinthine Franklin tunnels just to see that all of the available machines have error codes. An hour later, come back downstairs to see if the machines that actually work are empty now. This way, you’ll get more cardio.
- Make sure to forget your key when you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. That way, you can make friends with a bunch of disgruntled Yale Public Safety officers. If you get embarrassed, remember that there are 10,000 annual lockouts and only 6,000 undergrads.
- Type “Rory Gilmore study playlist” into Spotify. Remember: you are Rory, except you will not drop out, not even a chance. As “There She Goes” floods into your headphones and drips into your veins, channel your inner self-absorbed New England brunette.
- Send your West Coast friends a picture of that sole speckled leaf on the concrete. Caption it, “look, seasons!” If you are lucky, they will pretend to care and write, “Yay! So happy for you!”
- Contemplate your own mortality and the inevitability of death as you walk past Grove Street Cemetery. What’s a Barnes and Noble’s package center pick-up without reading, “The Dead Shall Be Raised” above a squeaking gate? Remember that your life is but a blip over hundreds of thousands of years of human history while carrying the box of socks that your mother overnight-shipped.
- Growth isn’t linear. Your first month of college is full of what my twin sister calls “breakdowns and breakthroughs,” regrets and mistakes, late-night lockouts and sprained ankles, missed opportunities, new friendships, about 350 more people at Shabbat dinner than you’re used to and exciting experiences. Remember to slow down, take it all in and give yourself some grace.