Hi everyone. This weekend may be really fun, but you know what will be even more fun? When classes end. Everyone’s thinking it, so I thought I might as well write it down. There are fourteen days left until classes stop meeting, at which point the real reason we are here at Yale becomes clear. We are here to have fun and chill. No one gets it.
Professors are always asking us to do things for them all the time. In the next two weeks, take some time for yourself instead. I’ve compiled a list of fourteen inspiring things to do between now and when classes end — one inspiring thing for each day.
Day 1: This day is Saturday. Today just breathe. Start small.
Day 2: This is tomorrow, Day of Friends. You are saying goodbye to them soon, so better make good with them now. You have two choices: write a nice note to a friend telling them you appreciate them, or watch two full episodes of Friends and just study friendship and how it works.
Day 3: Day of Monday. Mondays suck all around. Best I can say is wear your comfiest socks. Might as well be comfortable.
Day 4: Tuesday Tunes. Before you go to bed Monday night, set your alarm like any other day, except for this time your wake-up song is “Good Day” by Nappy Roots. Play it loud to make sure your roommate wakes up happy too. Share the inspiration.
Day 5: Day of The Big Crush. Classes definitely get really boring by Wednesday. So today you will choose someone in one of your classes to have a big, huge crush on. That way you don’t have to listen to lecture or take any notes; you’re in love.
Day 6: Day of Chicken Tenders. I really hope so.
Day 7: Day of the Big Woop Woop! We are halfway through. Run up a big mountain, take off your pants and give the world a big “Woop Woop!” You deserve it.
Day 8: Day of Those Zzzzs. Sleep it in, baby. You can leave Yale soon, but not yet. So sleep through as much of it as possible.
Day 9: Refresh and Revamp. Take a shower today. Everyone will suddenly want to spend more time with you, and you’ll feel super loved going into the last week of pointless drudgery.
Day 10: Day of The Last Monday. Really make it a real Monday today. Walk slowly to all of your classes and don’t sit with anyone at any meals. This is one of the last times you can be really grumpy and get away with a serious trudge.
Day 11: Day of An Insta of Sterling. Just post an insta of Sterling today. That’s what I’m planning on doing. Then go back to bed. Your work is done.
Day 12: Wednesday Wenzelling. This is when you’re going to start feeling really sentimental about leaving Yale for the summer. You have to get a Wenzel at Alpha Delta. Eat it slowly and reflect on days gone by until a single tear falls. Then you can get up and leave.
Day 13: Day of Second to Last Day of Classes. Every time someone says “Hi” to you today you’ll remind them that it is the second to last day of classes. It will be your main topic of conversation, and you’ll fine-tune your cheerful yet weary intonation as the day progresses. You will enjoy not talking about the weather for once. Or talking about talking about the weather.
Day 14: Day of Looks Like We Made It. Today, that’s your theme song. Whenever you feel like it, sing “It Looks Like We Made It!” to any tune you want. You’ve done a lot in the past fourteen days and you have a date with your Wednesday Crush tomorrow. You’ve made it.
Can’t wait for my education to be over. In just fourteen days I don’t have to listen to any professors for three whole months. I can finally be just little old me. I hope this itinerary helps you guys get through the next two weeks. I did it last semester and made it through just fine. It’s kind of a foolproof plan.