This is the first in a series of articles detailing the ways that Harvard sucks
As you probably already know, “On Harvard Time” was at it again this year, interviewing Yale students on cross campus yesterday. Maybe you saw them dressed as overly zealous Yale students. Maybe they even interviewed you! Aren’t you mad? Though some of us were duped, we all know that Yale is actually the younger, smarter, and sexier college. So even for those who signed their petition to divest from sports, you still win.
Though “On Harvard Time” went stealth-mode and managed to confuse some Yale students about the true origins of the interview, others weren’t fooled. Sweyne Venderbush ’18 spotted them from across the street. The two Harvard students, followed by a camera, began by questioning him about which team he was rooting for. They also asked him what he thought Yale’s chances were in the upcoming Game, and what he thought of Yale’s exorbitant budget for football. In the generous Yale spirit Venderbush helped “On Harvard Time” seem funny. Or so he wants us to think, when we see him on camera singing Harvard’s fight song “accidentally.” I’m just kidding. He said, “I was very not funny for most of them, and then felt bad, so then for the last one I said that Harvard kids are the more obnoxious, less down-to-earth, less directed, more uppity Yale students.”
Though Rebecca Sylvers ’15, who was a production and design editor at the news for the board of 2014, didn’t find them very funny. “The funniest part is that we’d just by chance been talking about sports for literally the first time in our Yale lives,” said Sylvers. The interviewers also asked for her email address, so she’s “convinced some bigger prank event will follow, maybe while we’re at Harvard for the Game.”
I shudder to say that we should retaliate, because it might break the already dim spirits of many Harvard students, but ladies and gentlemen, I believe this is a call to action. Sure, we made the Business Insider list for being both hot and smart, while Harvard didn’t. Sure, we beat Harvard every time one considers things that are important like graduation success and student happiness. But we aren’t going to let them off easy. No, we are not going to rest on our laurels. It’s time to step it up a notch and do what we’ve been doing best since 1701—beating Harvard at its own game.
Leave retaliation suggestions in the comments! Creativity is appreciated, none of this Huck Farvard BS.