Yale has launched a brand-new program to develop the knowledge of the masses with little pickets charmingly called “Elihu Facts,” in a nod to a Yale nickname that nobody actually uses.

Reads one Elihu Fact recently put up on Cross Campus: “Unrestricted funds allow Yale to address immediate priorities and develop new programs.”

What are “immediate priorities” and “new programs,” you ask? Your guess is as good as WKND’s. But they sound pretty official. Though we are a bit intimidated, WKND is glad to see Yale move toward transparency by finally acknowledging that it has infinite money.

Luckily, if you are as befuddled as we are by the recent crop of vague and unverifiable information on Yale’s campus, here is a website where you can find out more: www.yale.edu/doyouelihu.

According to “projections,” the phrase “Do you Elihu?” will soon be trending on Yahoo! and Twitter. WKND recommends asking “Do you Elihu?” in hushed tones to friends over dinner. It has a certain ring to it, and suggests that it is it is illicit, that everybody is doing it, and that if you don’t know about it you are woefully out of touch.