In a pinch? WKND knows just the thing — simply take this quiz and find out which quick, easy and minimal-effort costume is right for you!


1. Choose one:

a. Black cat

b. Blackberry

c. Black eye

d. Black nail polish


2. In your dreams you find yourself most often:

a. Naked in a public place

b. Falling in love with an object of fixation

c. Running away but unable to move

d. Shining in conversation


3. Your biggest Halloween turn-on is:

a. Fishnets

b. Papier-mâché

c. Extremely lifelike gore

d. Cleverness


4. What is your Halloween activity of choice?

a. Drag show

b. YSO concert

c. Liquor Treating

d. Costume Party


5. What is secretly your biggest fear?

a. Being forgotten

b. Clowns

c. Death by fire

d. Making a bad joke


6. What’s your #1 reason for going to see an R-rated movie?

a. Partial nudity

b. Milk Duds

c. Disturbing images

d. Thematic elements


7. Name a sound:

a. Moan

b. Silence

c. Shriek

d. Murmur


8. Pick a phrase:

a. Beauty is only skin deep.

b. Clothes make the man.

c. Live and let die.

d. I love big parties. They’re so intimate.


9. Pick a Shakespeare play:

a. The Merry Wives of Windsor

b. The Tempest

c. Macbeth

d. Troilus and Cressida


If you answered mostly a), you should be an Eroticized Animal. Bumblebee, lady(love)bug, sex kitten, Playboy Bunny – the options are limitless. These costumes can be purchased at a store near you. Alternatively, make them by hand: just get a headband, some felt, pipe cleaners and a little glue and you can whip together bunny ears or antennae in no time!


If you answered mostly b), you should be an Unexpected Object. Examples include: box of cereal; bag of Cracker Jacks; Tide to Go; retainer case. Here execution is key — so long as you really make yourself look like the thing that you are attempting to be, no one can really make you feel bad about your outfit. And that is what Halloween is all about.


If you answered mostly c), you should be a Gruesome Phantasm. The tried and true example of this is the ghost that, paradoxically, bleeds at the same time. You can either buy a gory costume with blood dripping down it, or you can just throw a sheet on and splatter it with red paint. Alternatives include monster mask, rotted corpse and zombie.


If you answered mostly d), you should be an Obscure Cultural Reference. Examples include: the guy from “Spirited Away” who floats around and says nothing; Courage the Cowardly Dog; Mrs. White from Clue. Some people will say “Aha!” and nod knowingly when they see your costume; it is for these gestures of approval that you strive.


If you answered equal parts a), b), c) and d), and/or in case of emergency, you can resort to a Pun-Dependent DIY Outfit. Examples include: forklift (you holding a fork up in the air the whole night); peacoat (coat with many peas on it); a blanket statement (blanket with the word “STATEMENT” on it). Beware: these may involve lengthy explanations to people who don’t understand what you’re “supposed to be” (that most dreaded of Halloween questions).