Every week, thousands of newsworthy events transpire on Yale’s campus, and unfortunately, the YDN just doesn’t always have room for all of them. To help you catch up on some of the events you might have missed this week, we’ve published some of the important news headlines that didn’t quite make the cut.

Local Student Amazed at How Accurately Buzzfeed Article Depicts His Life

Yale Inaugurates New President, Peter Hussein Salovey

With New President, Yale Looks to Africa; Can’t Quite See It

Poopetrator Copycat Poops in Toilet

New Haven Biker Gang Rides through Yale Campus, Freshman Winces

Section Asshole Saves Class from Burning Building

Student Drama Production Wows Friends and Family of Cast

Student Body Fails to Notice Pundits Prank

Yale Senior Has “Something” To Do Thursday and Sunday Nights

Former FroCo Group Members Vow to “Get A Meal Sometime”

Local Fraternity Chapter Disappointed by Loose Interpretation of Party Theme

Student in North Court to Everyone: Excuse Me, Are You in Berkeley?

Residential College Gate Pushed Instead of Pulled

Safety Dance Still Canceled

Commons Closed Friday for Orgy

Local Student “Can’t Believe” We Are Halfway Through the Semester

Yale Sporting Event Results in Outcome

Bob Marley Poster Feels “So College,” Suite Explains

Pigeon Flies into Classroom, Aces American Studies Midterm

Student Supplements Lecture Material with Facebook

Berkeley Mac And Cheese Feels Out of Place in Calhoun

Canonical Text “Actually Really Sexist,” Writes DS Student

Student Rationalizes Inadequacy by Seeing Himself as Small Fish in Big Pond

Yale Bros Not Actually Bros

Student Feels He’s Developed Unique Rapport with Adam from G-Heav

Excited Freshman Tapped for GroupMe