Her Holiness? Several eager Yalies have drafted an official White House petition urging the Obama administration to nominate University Vice President and Yale celebrity Linda Koch Lorimer to the papacy. The popular administrator — who reached star status after she announced that classes would be canceled following Hurricane Sandy and last weekend’s blizzard — has been known to inspire ecstatic behavior among undergraduates. Upon receiving her emails, students have reportedly raised their hands in praise, looked up at the stars and chanted “Sunday night Toad’s!” in unison.

Speaking of Lorimer. Though the papal nominee has been sending warning emails to Yalies following the blizzard, she is reportedly in Paris right now, safely an ocean away from the Elm City’s 3 feet of snow. Before then, Lorimer was in Florida. Looks like you really can have it all.

Once again, Yale’s hookup culture takes the spotlight. In Helen Rittelmeyer’s review of Nathan Harden’s “Sex and God at Yale,” Rittelmeyer argued that the University’s pervasive hookup culture is not a result of declining morals, but rather Yale students’ natural desire to aim for perfection in all fields. Numerous hookups are a means of improving performance and reaching excellence, Rittelmeyer wrote.

Excited about no class? Not everyone. Some lucky Yalies still get to trudge through the snow and hit the books. Students in Mark Oppenheimer’s course “Classics of Political Journalism” will be meeting today and discussing McCarthyism. The lesson? Journalism stops for no one, not even Nemo.

New Haven Shakes. Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternity brothers created their own version of the Harlem Shake in anticipation of their upcoming Smooch’d Valentine’s Day party this Thursday. The video, which has garnered over 2,000 views since it was published on Sunday, depicts, among other things, a fraternity brother ironing a printer and another two rubbing their nipples. Sounds like a party.

Horseplay in Swing. On Saturday, a group of Yalies took one of the Swing Space fire extinguishers and, “for no apparent reason,” threw the lifesaving device outside into one of the snow banks, according to an email sent to Swing residents from the Swing Space fellows.

THIS DAY IN YALE HISTORY 1969 An ad hoc Graduate School faculty committee releases a report proposing reforms in the humanities, including the construction of a Yale Center for Humanistic Studies and a shorter timetable for the Ph.D.

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