Nothing says a great end to fall break like fall break not ending. What we never dared dream of has come to pass: For the first time in more than 30 years, Yale has canceled classes due to inclement weather.
So, ladies and gentlemen, let us lift up our glasses to Hurricane Sandy. But let us fill them first with fitting tributes. Here are some appropriate “Hurricane Drinks” that we feel will suit your tastes:
The Classic Hurricane
1 oz vodka
1/4 oz grenadine syrup
1 oz gin
1 oz light rum
1/2 oz Bacardi® 151 rum
1 oz amaretto almond liqueur
1 oz triple sec
Pour all but the juices, in order listed, into a hurricane glass three-quarters filled with ice. Fill with equal parts of grapefruit and pineapple juice, and serve. If you can do all this successfully, enjoy the satisfaction of being the only college student ever to have owned a “hurricane glass.”
1 part vodka
1 part rum
1 part coconut rum
1 part tequila
Equal parts pineapple juice and orange juice
Grenadine (a splash for a glass)
Lemon-lime soda (a splash for a glass)
Fill your glass with ice, and pour the four spirits, in order listed. Top up with pineapple and orange juice. Add a splash of grenadine and soda. Pretend you are President Levin, ensconced comfortably next to a Degas, gazing over Hillhouse and placing bets on which window of the Admissions Office will get broken first.
The Linda Koch Lorimer
1 part gin
½ part orange liqueur
Pour ingredients, in order, listed into a well-chilled Yale Law School glass. Stir cautiously. Do not announce that you have made the drink until several hours after another university on the East Coast. Garnish with orange peel and a steely gaze.
The Emergency Survival Kit
Nothing but Yale’s emergency provisions
1 part Mott’s Apple Juice
1 part Tropicana cranberry juice
1 dollop caramel pudding
No more than 5 bottles of water per person
Combine ingredients cautiously since nobody knows how long the storm will last. Stir vigorously. Add anything alcoholic you can get your hands on. Cheap vodka can be substituted for 1 part hand sanitizer if necessary.
If your misfortunes extend to being limited to “The Broke-Ass College Student Hurricane” (12 oz beer, served warm and flat), allow us to recommend the definitive Frankenstorm drinking game.
1) Drink every time a newscaster mentions “the Perfect Storm.”
2) Toast every time someone mentions “Sandy.”
3) Drink every time the Yale Alert system contacts you unnecessarily.
4) Drink when one of the presidential candidates mentions disaster relief strategies.
5) Chug your drink if they mention FEMA.
6) Finish your drink when classes aren’t inevitably canceled on Wednesday.
Now raise your glass.