1) Not hot

Is a pretentious twit, doesn’t have James Franco’s winning smile.

2) Asks you to lead section next week

Wait, isn’t that, like, your job?

3) Two words: reading responses

Five words: I didn’t do the reading!

4) No laptops in section

But J.Crew has a 50 percent off sale — I mean, I want to take copious notes.

5) Reminds you of your depressing future post-Yale

That is, if I don’t get that consulting job.

6) Thinks the section asshole’s comments are deeply insightful

Can’t you see he’s just a slightly better bullshitter than the rest of us?

7) Terrible office hours

4:15-4:32 p.m. on Prospect Street.

8) Is hot …

But refuses to take you to GPSCY.

9) Only reads paper drafts turned in two weeks in advance

And when I actually manage to send it in on time, he replies, “This looks good.”

10) Calls on you when you’re not raising your hand

I still didn’t do the reading.

-Magazine Staff