Love can be hard to come by; don’t we know it. But when you’ve got it, there isn’t anything quite like it. Which is why we’ve decided to extend a hand to you, the Yale student body, in your pursuit of eternal companionship. So we have here for you: WEEKEND personals. We hope your lonely hearts might find on this page something that strikes a chord in your cardiac muscles.
Shoot us an email at email@example.com explaining why you’re interested in your heartthrob of choice and why you deserve a chance with him/her. If we think your melodies harmonize, we’ll put you in touch. The rest is up to you, lonelyheart, and you, heartthrob.
Single lady from the south seeks a good date
This single lady seeks a hell of a guy (like pelican fly) for a good date. On a free afternoon, she would probably go on a run to East Rock, bake a pumpkin pie, and then watch Harry Potter. She’s from the South and loves it, is on a varsity team, and majoring in environmental engineering. Likes: lunch at KBT Cafe, Mad Men, 30 Rock, Natalie Portman, Moon Shoes. Dislikes: the cold, things related to William F. Buckley Jr. and Occupying Anything. She more or less decided to write this personal ad for Weekend because she wanted to procrastinate doing her physics homework. That said, if you’re a taller man who might enjoy a nice, casual dinner date at Caseus followed by a game of Kings or something similar, I’m your girl!
Female, earthbound seeks male who sees beauty in the living
You. Yes – you. As my Naavi alter ego would say, I SEE YOU. Well, not yet. But I hope to, before my time here is done. Because if I don’t go home with a dashing Yalie in tow to put on display before my parents, they might make me repay them for my entire tuition. But after graduation, the cow field in which I live would just be a quick stop, because I’m booking it onto the cheapest plane to Brazil 2014 whattuppp. You must appreciate the beautiful game. Hell, you’ve gotta appreciate the beautiful life — the spontaneous moments that college allows us. Our blazing ardor will be fed by secret sneaks into illegal places, polar bear dips, and midnight adventures on the nights before our most important and life-changing final exams. I don’t Gcal. I try to iCal. It fails. I’ll fit you into my constantly shifting schedule in whatever way works. You won’t be snubbed at the sake of my career path – because I don’t have one. If you’re seeking low maintenance, you’re looking straight at it. I’ll even buy you wenzels. Or, at least on your birthday. Maybe Christmas. Possibly Valentine’s Day. Or like, if they’re on sale. Does that happen? Whatever. Just hit me up. Stat.
SUN-KISSED LASS seeks outdoorsy Jack
Seeking flannel (L.L.Bean > J.Crew), dance floor dynamism and wanderlust. Beer pong champs encouraged. Thousand-watt smile guaranteed in return for Havana nights.
Tall, gangly male seeks female nerd to help him prove that there really is a dating culture at Yale
I’m a 6’4” humanities major who loves Disney movies, rainy, cold weather, and dinosaurs, and I would like to discuss all three of those things with you from within a snuggie. I’m a complete tech geek and a major sci-fi fan, but I’m not cool enough to be a scientist myself. However, I think science majors are hot, and I’m looking for someone to tell me about all the sexy, sexy research she has done recently. I’m also looking for a runner: I run every night, and it would make my happy beyond words if you would frolic with me in the cold and then let me make you cocoa before we curl up under a fuzzy blanket and geek out over our mutual love of Doctor Who and Bill Nye the Science Guy. I’m interested in commitment and ready to set aside time to be with you. In short, I am willing and eager to: 1) Cuddle with you. A LOT. 2) Watch sci-fi stuff with you. 3) Find your geeky interests attractive. 4) Run/frolic with you. 5) Give you my coat if you’re cold. 6) Send you lots of <3s and ilys and rofl with you in our roflcopter.
A YOUNG DIANE LANE seeks her John Cusack
Long-haired lady seeks badass nerd with appreciation of weirdness, especially as related to dreams, programming and dystopias. Must have dog and share sweaters. Over-enthusiastic Romeos need not apply.
ADVENTUROUS X seeks Y who can hold his own
I am a sassy and energetic Virgo who likes taking long walks, exploring, going on mini-adventures. My interests include TV, movies, live performances, comedy and my dog. I hate talking politics or anything about the economy. Debates bore me. I guess I’m looking for someone who I like spending time with and who can put up with my flightiness and nonsense. Is there anyone out there who can tame this wild child? I doubt it, but I’d love for someone to try.
FRESHLAD SEEKS LADY for intellectual/late-night exploration
Freshman seeks interesting people for shared conversation and intellectual outings (or Toad’s — I’m versatile)
Member of Directed Studies, with an eye toward majoring in How The Hell Should I Know
Likes: Dance music, salad, artistic movies with sword fights, problem-solving, unintentional humor
Dislikes: Dogmatism, wasting time, formality, reggae, most poetry
I’m not the most naturally social person, and I’m still trying hard to meet new people; if you don’t mind slight quirkiness, we should hang out.