So in the past hour various people, primarily my editors, have asked me — in that tone of voice that implies the futility of resistance — whether or not I would like to write a response to James Franco’s tweet.
I don’t quite know how to approach writing a response to a picture with “F— the Yale Daily News” drawn across it, not to mention the fact that this is all based on the possibly very false assumption that that tweet is itself a response to the blog post I wrote insulting James Franco’s Twitter at 3 in the morning last Thursday. So let me start by saying that if James Franco was in fact referring to Shebani Rao’s recent opinion piece about how crabs can feel pain — perhaps Franco is a big fan of the Soft Shell Crab Roll at Sushi on Chapel, which he should be — I will be even more embarrassed than I already am at the (now-corrected) typo so helpfully pointed out to me in the comments on the post.
But allow me to, just for a second, inflate my self-importance enough to assume that James Franco tweeted a graffitied-up picture in response to something I actually wrote. Basically what this means is that my single meaningful point of contact with the guy who totally hosted the Oscars Sunday night is the fact that he read something snarky I wrote about him, online. I mean, a lot of my life happens online — friends whom I know based only on their avatars, that time I was obsessed with Habbo Hotel in third grade — but this is way bigger than any of that. It’s also possibly the pinnacle of my career as a writer, at least based on the fact that that 200-word blog post officially has the most comments of anything I’ve ever written, even if they are all defending James Franco against my typos and general meanness.
Or rather, defending his Twitter. Because that’s what my blog post was about — what I saw as the lame-ness of James Franco’s Twitter — and, in that context, his visual/performance/Twitter art response was perfect. I said he should Tweet fewer random pictures and instead be more like the Twitter-ranting Kanye. James Franco, in turn, ranted in the form of a random picture. #wellplayedsir.
Besides, combined with his Oscars hosting performance and in accordance with the opinion of commenters on my last blog, I’m becoming convinced that James Franco’s whole life is a form of postmodern performance art. In that context, his Twitter fits right in.