There’s something to be learned from the Boy Scouts when it comes to making it through the weekend unscathed. A night spent wandering High Street’s Frat Row before heading to Toad’s is essentially comparable to surviving a night in the wilderness — featuring murky darkness and the paralyzing fear of being devoured by rabid beasts.
But darkness makes everyone look better, and occasionally that rabid beast can provide a hot, sloppy dancefloor hookup. In situations like this, just remember: be prepared.
Unexpectedly Handy and Remarkably Cheap
The best thing since sliced bread? Sliced bread on a Saturday night.
Grab a few slices of whole wheat bread from the dining hall, wrap ’em up in saran wrap,
stick ’em in your coat pocket and head on out.
Use 1: Ew, your BFF looks like she’s about to toss her cookies all over that cutie-pie Q-pac guy she’s been hitting on. Take her aside for an absorbent slice of bread.
Use 2: If you’re unsure of the way to the lightweight crew house, scatter bread crumbs on the sidewalk to guide you back home.
Use 3: Your revived BFF ditches the Q-pac dude and starts hitting on your boyfriend instead?! Eat your feelings.
But remember the golden rule of packing light: if it can’t fit in your bra, you’ll probably end up forgetting it at DKE. The lads have a bit more leeway here, since men’s jeans tend to be more spacious in the pocket department than those worn by women. Ladies who want to carry more should consider investing in a good Sherpa-boyfriend or lingerie one cup size too big. Bread slices will fill out the cups nicely.