According to the New York Post, the now-unavoidable cast of “Jersey Shore” may get to sit in The Front Row or, worse, walk the catwalks during Fashion Week. Michael Schweiger, who represents all of the cast members except “Snickers,” claims that at least three designers have already approached the cast.

Who are these designers?!?!?! People, people, people. This is high-fashion, not an Orange Skin Anonymous (OSA) meeting.

I don’t mind these hot messes going to Fashion Week, but do they need to be in The Front Row? I mean, being in The Front Row assures the world that you are really, really fabulous. That’s why The Front Row Glamazons wear ginormous sunglasses – it’s all so fabulous that they’re over it before it starts, so they use their shades to create an optical illusion of interest. I guess my intern forgot to give me the memo that we’re now allowing nobodies with dollar store weaves and crispy, frosted tips to get within two bodyguards of Anna.

Deep inside I know it’s probably all for publicity, and everybody knows there’s no such thing as bad publicity. But if I see one fist-pump, or a single model walking the runway with really orange skin, I might get ghetto. So just, like, watch out.