Everyone knows Princeton University doesn’t matter. But when you’re walking around Princeton by yourself this Saturday, wondering how to survive because there are no other Yalies around and Durfee’s (and your bursar account powers) are 130 miles away, just remember: the town of Princeton, N.J., is actually considered one of the state’s finest attractions.

Somewhere between the tailgate and the bus ride back, you’ll need nourishment. Hoagie Haven, just by campus on at 242 Nassau St., offers glorified, greasy subs called hoagies that Yelp reviewers apparently dream about in their sleep. The local equivalents of Ashley’s is the Bent Spoon in Palmer Square, Thomas Sweet Ice Cream on Nassau St. between the main library and the art museum, and Halo Pub on the intersection of John St. and Hulfish St. And if you still want pizza that far away from the Have, try Conte’s Pizza at 339 Witherspoon St.

Otherwise, judging from the New York Times’ “36 Hours in Princeton, N.J.,” there’s not much to do except wander the town’s sleepy streets, peek into stores that sell both Albert Einstein souvenirs (shock!) and pashmina scarves (bigger shock!).

You can also tour the campus itself, which is full of archways and neo-gothic glory … but, oh wait, so is ours.

And if you are planning on going to the Princeton/Yale football game this Saturday, here are a few things you might consider taking with you for the bus ride, because Princeton itself will not be unbearable enough:

  • To keep yourself warm: A real tiger-skin blanket
  • To read and learn: Princeton’s unofficial viewbook, Fitzgerald’s This Side of Paradise. Snobbery is timeless.
  • To feel right at home: Get your a cappella on with the Princeton Tigertones . Whiffenwhat?
  • To eat: Bring your oh-so-vital eating club guest pass if you want to beat the hunger pangs at the game. It’s either that, or cash in your SID for some leftover alfalfa sprouts from Yale’s very own dining halls.