After last weekend’s inclement weather, I realized I don’t own a single piece of clothing specifically made for the “April shower.” So I went online looking for something in this often neglected realm of fashion. Here are the options:

A) The Sporty Jacket:

Probably the easiest and most obvious choice: just make sure it’s hooded and doesn’t look like it’s made of garbage bags. The fabric should be thin and impermeable, but never 100 percent synthetic. Neutral colors and simple lines will translate into more wear-ability. These two are from American Apparel.

B) The Sherlock Holmes slash Chuck Bass Trench Coat:

It’s pretty hard to go wrong with a Burberry-like trench coat of this sort. As long as it’s the right fit and length, and you’re not wearing hot pink shoes, there isn’t much space left for error. A tan trench coat is appropriate in all occasions, and it certainly looks good, but it can be a tad boring. Ways to make it more interesting? Avoid the messy belts that require knots. That’s right Tommy Hilfiger, I’m talking to you. Go buckled! The Freemont trench changes the traditional notch lapel for a way cooler button-shirt neck — a success, in my opinion. It’s important that the entire look remain smooth and stylized, so the Hilfiger adjustable wrist cuffs are totally unnecessary, not to mention repulsive.

C) The Inca Poncho slash Avant-garde Cape:

Obviously, I didn’t even consider getting one of these. It’s just hilarious to see that someone out there is still making clothes without room for people’s arms. As opposed to the trench coat, there is no way you can make a poncho work. The guy wearing the Pelican Avenue looks like a saggy KKK member or a hooded Jesus Christ, and the Armani model, though more haute couture, might as well have just tied a blanket around his neck. Not okay.