By Thomas Kaplan

DENVER, 6:43 p.m. — Why do people like me come to the Democratic National Convention? To pretend we are paparazzi and stalk psuedo-celebrities, of course!

Covering the New Hampshire primary for the News in January, I had a perfect opportunity to hone this craft. Aside from the candidates themselves, my prized catches in that trip included Larry David, Arianna Huffington, Chris Matthews, Tim Robbins and Brian Williams (who famously brushed into my shoulder whilst navigating the press area at a rally for Hillary Clinton LAW ’73).

So I was disappointed today when I failed, on all my attempts, to spot anyone of any degree of significance here in Denver. I walked around downtown for hours. I found no one. Not even John DeStefano. (Yes, it was that bleak; I would have settled for him as my celebrity sighting of the day.)

There was some hope at one point, however. Walking downtown in Denver, I thought I heard a man introduce himself as a Democratic congressman from Kansas (they exist, apparently). Cool, right?

Then I heard him introduce himself to a second person. I had misheard. He wasn’t a Democratic congressman from Kansas; he was an intern for a Democratic congressman from Kansas.

The search continues.