1: The Uncertain Epicure
Goes well with: A dash of distraction and a pinch of curiosity. A hangover.
You’ve seen this nervous-looking boy agonizing over the Sunday brunch options like they were summer internship applications while most of his contemporaries mindlessly devour the pancakes and powdered eggs. Or maybe that waffling by the waffle iron is just a symptom of last night’s festivities.
2: The Determined Dieter
Goes well with: Water and designer jeans.
Good news for Yale: by using three meal swipes to purchase exactly one apple and half a cup of Special K, Self-Conscious Sally has helped the institution turn quite a profit. Often seen frequenting the salad bar, these man and women observe the careful rules of healthy eating. At least until the midnight buttery run.
Part 3: Captain Crammer
Goes well with: Payne Whitney Gymnasium.
Sure, the guy has more bagels than the Silfka Center and at least two and a half chickens on his tray, but who’s going to blame him? Unlike the rest of us atrophied library nerds, this man works it off. Enough carbohydrates to wipe out a Manhattan deli and a small family of sustainable farmers — use that as motivation the next time you want to skip the treadmill.
—Hilary Faxon