To the Editor:
I have read the News with growing awareness of the recent, noticeable rise of crime on and around campus.
Frankly, it is ridiculous that we should have to worry about being mugged at, of all places, the corner of Elm and York — the heart of campus, right between Saybrook and Trumbull. So, I was thrilled to read this afternoon that Yale Security is finally doing something to solve the problem, placing security guards to patrol the college courtyards every day, between the hours of 4 p.m. and 12 a.m.
Finally, the wave of crime is over — no longer will local muggers and thieves break into Yale dorms at 5 p.m., right after getting off their day jobs, when the Yalies are all busy, distracted by their dining halls.
Kudos to Yale Security also for making sure to conserve resources — after all, Yale’s endowment is equivalent to the GDP of only small, Third World countries, and it’s important to save every penny — by taking the officers out at midnight, when they are no longer needed. It is, after all, common knowledge that your typical New Haven burglar has a strict 11:30 bedtime, and even if they did want to go out burgling later than that, the warm bed, the security blanket and that cup of warm milk their mom gave them is ultimately just too enticing.
My heartfelt thanks and congratulations go out to Yale Security, for responding to serious safety issues in the most efficient, effective and sensible way possible.
The writer is a sophomore in Jonathan Edwards College.