The ‘majority’ at Yale responds to guest column’s attempt to subvert it

To the Editor:

We were appalled by the remarks of Jun Theresa Ding in her Sept. 12 column, “It’s OK if you don’t fit in with ‘majority.’” As active members of the majority, we find that Ding’s piece not only misrepresents the glorious 51-plus percent of the student population, but once again continues society’s tradition of silencing the voice of the majority.

Ding asserts that “different people are particular about different things,” but she fails to account for the perspective of the majority — cool people are particular about the same things. Another distinct no-no in the code of the majority is a preference for solitude. Perhaps if Ding learned to hate solitude like the rest of us, she might learn to communicate out of sheer fear. That’s the majority difference.

Ding attempts to sympathize with the majority (i.e., us) stating, “I can also chat about whole milk vs. skim milk.” This proves just how out of touch with the majority Ding really is. Anybody who’s anybody knows people don’t drink milk anymore. Calcium is out of style; Sprite with club soda is the new milk.

She also claims to have found happiness without sex. As advocates of Yale’s majority, we retort, “Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.” Additionally, while we agree that having fewer friends certainly doesn’t make one antisocial, bad or unsuccessful, it does mean that you have fewer friends.

One day, between sets of shoulder presses at the gym, we got to pondering: We love being in the majority. If it wasn’t for the majority, we wouldn’t have democracy, T.I. playing Spring Fling or mob mentality. Just knowing that at any moment we can call our fellow majority brethren to a massive feast (no milk) in the center of Yale for all to behold, reminds us why the majority continues to be the largest demographic at Yale for the past 300 years.

Class of 2011, we implore you to join us, the majority. Our continued dominance relies on your support. We meet twice a week after our daily gym routines and J.Crew shopping sprees. On Wednesdays and Saturdays, please attend the Throng of Organized Activities for Dancing Students (TOADS).

Doug Lieblich ’08

Sean Gandert ’08

Sept. 13

The writers are senior editors of the Yale Record.