“Updated” sounds wrong, and “supersized” has been taken by an evil conglomerate. “New and improved” is such a trite catchphrase. “Bigger and better” is also a bit of a cliche — though your now-exhausted arms surely noticed that we’ve indeed grown from six pages to eight. And it’ll stay that way.

When words fail, it’s always a good idea to turn to that most eloquent, androgynous glam rocker, Sir David Bowie:

“Ch-ch-changes/ Just ‘gonna have to be a different [weekend Ivy League arts and living newspaper insert]”.

Because now we have a colorful back page (good riddance performing & fine arts! just kidding), full of whatever our sweet heart desires. This week it’s “indie” rockers Death Cab For Cutie, metaphysical comedy and a review of some “Chow.” Next week will be porn, cartoons and pornographic cartoons.

But wait, there’s more! A two-page living spread. Really and truly? Yes: All the books, food, fashion and interviews that our layout guys (though they’re mostly attractive Asian girls) can handle. And, of course, there’s music, film, PFA and columns, as there has always been and always will be.

But lastly, we present selections from a note we received this week, presented lovingly to you as a birthday present to scene readers (the words come courtesy of a concerned citizen):

“For years, [the YDN] has served as a bastion of liberalism and free speech. However, while the front page may decry stereotypes and slander, the scene section seems to have no problem using such underhanded tactics.”

Underhanded? Us? Never. We hope everyone enjoys the new scene. L’Chaim!