Zander: From looking at me, it might seem ironic that I should be in charge of anything related to food — putting out a food issue included. But really, I love eating. Ever since puberty hit, when I was about 17, I’ve had to deal with the condescending whispers of my peers as I pass them in hallways and dark alleys. “That’s Zander, he’s got an eating disorder,” is a phrase I have learned to block out so well that I barely even hear it anymore.

But really, I have no eating disorder. I know that I have under 160 pounds to distribute across six feet, two inches of man. That doesn’t make me a linebacker, but still, I eat. I eat a lot. I love food, and I love talking about food. Granola, lettuce, the occasional chicken breast, anything that has a Cosi wrapper on it, or that comes from a place with the word “fusion” in its description; I stuff down my throat with the glee and anticipation of a pubescent Greek boy in Plato’s schoolyard.

What you should keep in mind about food, is that it isn’t just an edible. It’s a way of life that has been utterly forgotten in America. In many countries, like India, France and Somalia, there is much ritual attached to eating. I won’t put on any airs and pretend to be an elitist Somalian gourmet, but I think they might be on to something that we, with our slim-fast lunches, are completely oblivious to.

Food is the thing that you go to when you have nothing else to do. But it is also the thing you go to when you have other things to do. Food is what seems to make everyone fat except for me. And that’s a good thing too, because if I couldn’t have my Tuscan Chicken Sesame Provencale Wrap every Monday to start my week off, I don’t know what I’d do.

Steve: From observing at me, it might seem ironic that I should be in charge of anything. I go to a restaurant and ask the waiter what his favorite dish is or what the person who made my seat warm with buttockular heat had only 15 minutes ago. When it comes to food, I can never make up my mind. The only thing that I do know is that I want it fast, I want it often and I want a lot of it.

Often you say? Often I say.

Fast you say? Fast I say.

A lot you say? Not too much, I say. I have a figure to attend to.

That’s the thing about eating. People tend to sit down and gorge themselves. They sit in a dining hall and use their unlimited trips to the metal melange I’ll call the Yale dining hall buffets to keep eating.

I ask those people, is it not hard to taste new food when the old food is sitting on the back your tongue? Your stomach can only hold so much. Even Zander, with his fast metabolism, takes time to taste.

This is why I feel that gluttony was made a sin. Not because God was afraid we would eat ourselves into a frenzy, but becuase God wanted to make sure we took the time to taste and enjoy his gifts. So chew fifty times before you swallow, sip your wine and tip your hat. You, my friend, are well on your way to becoming Chez Gourmet!