Headlining Toad’s this Wednesday: The New York Yankees. A certain Berkeley senior brought her shortstop boyfriend to the York Street club. (Ex-boy? We can’t keep track. They go out of style faster than Marky Mark’s Calvin’s). Word is, he was neither fast nor furious on the dance floor — nor cute. Better luck next time, champ. Hey, Nomar’s better.

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The Yankees couldn’t score this October, but plenty of pre-frosh did. One New Yorker pre-frosh went to a party on Edgewood Avenue and went home with a 30-year-old Wesleyan professor. Unfortunately, the pre-frosh forgot to tell his Yalie host where he was going. At least the professor had the courtesy to e-mail the worried girl the next morning — once the boy was bundled up and on the express train to Brooklyn.

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Word around town is that a certain member of the Yale baseball team went on a date with Britney Spears.

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A certain Davenport undergrad took some pictures of himself, on the sly, in just his boxer shorts. Then he uploaded them onto his computer. And there they sat. Oh — then somebody else found them, made them into an 8-foot-tall poster, and hung the poster in a classroom, just out of arm’s reach, to the delight of the kid’s profs and TAs (who got quite an eyeful). But hey, the guy was a good sport. And we hear there was quite a bulge.

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A group of Durfee men have made a ritual out of what they call the Penis Size Ceremony. We hear these boys stand shirtless in a circle on Old Campus, guessing the sizes of each other’s penises.