Hurricane Earl threatens the Electric Zoo

His name is Earl. And he is shaping up to be a massive disappointment to many people. He is loud, boisterous and aggressive, and enjoys pushing his way into parties he is not invited to.

Hurricane Earl. Calamity Earl. Potential-killjoy-to-the-Electric-Zoo-Festival-on-Randall’s-Island-this-weekend-that-I-have-been-looking-forward-to-for-a-very-long-time Earl.

After developing somewhere north of Puerto Rico this Monday, the hurricane has rapidly been moving northwestward and threatens to hit New York City sometime Friday (a Tropical Storm Watch is in effect for New Haven, too). The possibility for natural disaster would certainly put a damper on the Electric Zoo.

Electronic music festivals are quite hard to come by on this side of the Atlantic and, in its second year running, Electric Zoo is New York’s biggest. At last year’s festival launch, attendance reached 26,000. This year’s lineup features many personal favorites: Major Lazer, A-Trak, Steve Aoki and Boys Noize (note to self: Germans do it better, electronica-lly speaking). While my individual leanings tend toward house, minimal and pop-influenced electronica, there is plenty to offer for the more trance/techno-minded listeners. Some of the larger names include Armin van Buren, ATB, Benny Benassi and Dirty South. Running from 11 a.m. Saturday until 11 p.m. Sunday, the event promises to be a musical success, cancellation or collapsing tents excepted.

Earl seems particularly inopportune, considering that Greater New York has been hurricane-free since 1985, when Gloria deigned to grace the area with her presence.

Alas, we despair as chances of a windy city continue to increase (one in four, maybe more) and the chances of our phenomenal weekend precipitously decrease.

Festival organizers have not yet given comment on the hurricane, since they are all busily preparing, but fellow reporter Jordan Schneider ’12 put a positive spin on things to come: “It has the potential to be the most epic day ever if it is not too awful.” He noted that 50 mph winds might be “just scary,” but that we would not need to worry about freezing in this warm weather.

Other visitors share their advice and concern in the form of comments to Electric Zoo’s Facebook page. These comments include, “Time to rock out the Northface hiking ‘fanny pack’ from 1995, the classic gear never goes out of style or function.” Although, truth be told, this is in response to a list of prohibited items.

A more concerned commenter asks, “Alright all joking aside, [what] is up with refunds? Cause 1010 [WINS] is starting to sound pretty convincing.”

A more confident attendee attempted to calm the worriers. “Read the weather report [expletive]. The storm is gonna be in [expletive] Canada by Saturday,” he remarked.

A patriotic supporter chimed in, “Yeah, [expletive] Canada!”

After careful reflection, I’ve concluded that my fellow Electric Zoo enthusiasts would benefit from lessons in charm and eloquence when discussing our neighbors to the north.

The National Hurricane Center offers a more authoritative position on the matter of Hurricane Earl. It informs me in geographical coordinates that New York City, 40° 47’ N by 73° 58’ W, is located somewhere between a tropical storm warning and tropical storm watch.

Regardless of Earl’s whereabouts, I will be at Union Station with my neon blue rain boots promptly at 9 a.m. on Saturday morning.

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