The clubs of Crown Street: Static

From beneath the ashes of Oracle Resto-Lounge scuttles Static, New Haven’smost-recently-opened nightclub.The Crown Street discotheque has proven itself ineligible for the title of“newest.”

Static hosted its maiden dance party Jan. 21, the first in a series of “College Thursdays” marketed to New Haven’s bounty of young revelers. But its environs, a tired refrain of flashing spotlights, the VIP veranda and the cordoned off 21-and-over bar nook, fail to deliver the verve of a fresh space. The week-old club’s floors have already grown sticky. When asked what set the club apart, promotional manager Steve Gentile said theplace asked for a “low price at the door, and we’re totally overstaffed on security.” Cheap, safe entertainment: like people-watching at Walmart. The two-room, two-bar layout and $2 coat check are at least a few strata above the single writhing mass of a Toad’s Place party. And at Static, all 12 college students who voluntarily enter the club before 9:30 p.m. pay no cover charge!

Unlike Toad’s, Static seems frantic to prove its worth. Patrons equally eager– to lubricate with some top 40 hits and Ed Hardy beer– will likely find themselves gyrating just as smoothly as they would at any other club.

The unexceptional Static may ultimately rely on external generators for the electricity club-goers desire. The club’s VIP section sold out for its second major event last night, an evening with Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino from MTV’s latest subcultureploitation “Jersey Shore.” The crowd mirrored the show’s cast with jarring accuracy. According to Gentile, a slew of additional guests and theme parties will abound in the coming weeks. These, the carefully budgeted jolts of outside vigor, will hopefully keep Static away from buzzing defibrillators.

Chandeliers hang from the main dance floor’s periphery like self-conscious tweens, eyelids beset with too much glitter. A bare brick interior clashes with the entrance’s floral wallpaper clashes with a lone Audrey Hepburn print in the corner clashes with the sheen of metallic spandex mini-skirts reflecting off freshly greased hair. Something about the entire place reflects in on itself: the Studio-54-meets-urban-blacklight-bar atmosphere expresses full self-awareness, conceding anxiously to cliché.

Static proves that sometimes, a club need only provide an unadorned stage for the comedy, tragedy or reality TV that unfolds.

Comments

  • Dot Khan

    Is this article trying to say that a total of only 12 college students voluntarily entered the club? Did they have to force others to enter? To even compare a new club that has actors from a reality TV show stopping by to another venue with actual musicians playing almost any type of music for 35 years is a stretch.

  • HAS THIS GIRL EVER BEEN TO A CLUB

    First of all, who wants to be like toads place not us. By 930 we had over 200 college students here. I think Alison needs to check her notes again. The night was an overwhelming success and we brought one of the most hated and most watched TV stars to New Haven, hate to admit it but jersey shore is the biggest thing since sliced bread Alison. static is not a new club its a newly slightly revamped night club that’s all. We changed our appearance for the consumer cause we like to change and add excitement to nightlife in new haven. Ill bet were the cleanest and most put together club in new haven, hands down. But all in all we provide a safe environment with good music, great people and a variety of drink specials again for you. Alison stick to writing leave the decorating to the professionals darling.

  • Veritas

    “subcultureploitation”

    Greatest word ever.