Park your plaid-on-plaid in Harvard Yard

The New York Times says it’s a “patchwork of tartan, seersucker and old-school plaids.” I think most of it is just ugly.

The collection’s Web site reads: “The Harvard Yard man is confident.” He better be, if he’s going out looking like Karl Lagerfeld just puked the entirety of J. Press’ stock on him. Then it continues: “We make what he wants and we make it well.” Anyone else feel they’ve just come up with at least five T-shirt ideas for The Game?

First, I’m not a fan of mixing patterns. Whenever I try, it looks like a) I’m blatantly trying really hard to mix patterns and get away with it, or b) I didn’t look at my clothes as I took them out of the closet and ended up mixing patterns. In short, it looks forced or accidental — either way: shameful.

I get that plaid was back and grunge last year, and has been sort of re-envisioned today in the preppy spheres. At the same time, I understand that many current trends are about combining patterns and textures.

Ideally, layering would be both harmonious and subtle. Harvard Yard’s line has just got a lot, and I meant a lot, of pattern- and texture-mixing going on. It’s like one part J. Press, one part Gap, a sprinkling of J. Crew, a droplet of Lacoste, all thrown in a blender.

And then there’s the plaid issue. I have seen plaid shirts (which are fine), plaid shorts (less fine), plaid ties (pushing it) … but plaid belts? Plaid raincoats? All in one outfit? My eyes!

Almost as awful as madras, plaid is more of a statement than a pattern. It’s the one thing you wear that, like it or not, will be highlighted by everything else you put on. Ergo, you want to wear plaid with plain. Not tartan, not more plaid.

Harvard Yard, however, wants you to wear three different kinds of plaid, then some stripes and maybe a flowered shirt. All they’re missing is a fedora to go with the murse. Gag.

Also, I’m a little sick of the I’m-slightly-rolling-up-my-slim-fit-pants-so-you-can-see-my-cool-socks and the I’m-slightly-rolling-up-my-slim-fit-pants-so-you-can-see-I’m-actually-not-wearing-socks-at-all attitudes. Just when I thought these were gone for good, I see this Wentworth Miller look-alike rolling up his slim-fit pants to a bare pair of ankles. Made my day.

Readers of The Harvard Crimson Web site agree: “I can’t believe anyone would pay $100 for cotton step-ins” (tizzyfit) and “Thats what Brooks Brothers, J.Press, and Vineyard Vines are for!” (elitistsob).

Even commenters on perezhilton.com hate it, though a little more effusively: “The fuck is this? LMAO!” (Starflower11), “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” (I Love Haters) and “they all look eww” (babykitty).

Now, there’s nothing objectively wrong with some of the clothes (mostly the suits). But even if you do decide to pay $400+ for an outfit that’s been made in collaboration with Harvard University, you will have to wait until February, when the line is — unfortunately — released.

Comments