October 31st, 2011 | WEEKEND

WANTED: The Young and The Restless

"Ishamel gave himself to the writing of it, and as he did so he understood this, too: that accident ruled every corner of the universe except the chambers of the human heart." - David Guterson in Snow Falling on Cedars
"Ishamel gave himself to the writing of it, and as he did so he understood this, too: that accident ruled every corner of the universe except the chambers of the human heart." - David Guterson in Snow Falling on Cedars Photo by Wikimedia Commons .

Love. sigh…….

These days there is more snow in our fair city than there is love. We want more of it. The love, that is.

As winter’s bitter cold sets in and your pulsing 20-something libido can no longer surmount the distance to “that party,” WEEKEND is here to help bring the lovin’ a little closer. WEEKEND always wants some lovin’. One might say we are “DTF.” And we don’t mean to be presumptuous, but we think you might like to see a little more lovin’ yourself. Are your hearts as cold as the snow on the ground, as cold as the wintry mix that slapped our bleary eyes and ruddy cheeks this cruel Saturday? We hope not. That’s why this week, we want your personal ads to grace our *illustrious* pages (we’re looking at you, @singleandreadytomingle).

Are you tired of less than titillating conversation between keg stands at your local fraternity? Is eye-fucking your TA not getting you anywhere? Do you just “hate” “hipster” “parties” and want to find something real? Would you prefer to curl up in bed with Netflix and a box of dark chocolate than to hit the dance floor at Toads? Email us at ydnweekendedz@panlists.yale.edu with who you are and what you’re looking for and once the editors sift through the submissions and claim the crème de la crème for our own amorous pursuits, we will publish these personal ads anonymously in our Nov. 4th issue.

Now, if a certain one of these personals catches your fancy, shoot us an email explaining why you, the loner lame-o, deserves a chance with said singleandreadytomingle. We’re going to assume he/she is too good for you. So make us laugh, make us cry, make us doubt our own sexual prowess (ya right never). But we DARE you not to self-deprecate. We can’t guarantee compatibility will be our number one priority, but we can assure you that you will have a great time.

Note: We will only accept personals from Yale domain email addresses per request of our legal team. Those that sufficiently convince us of their worthiness will be given the email address of the anonymous person of their choice. From there, it’s up to you whether or not to initiate contact outside of cyberspace. Bon courage, young lovers!