My abdication of the royal throne of New Haven

April 26, 2002
This is my last column as the King of New Haven. As of May 27, I will be known as the King Emeritus. I am only now coming to grips with the fact that my time left at Yale is quite limited. Today is my last day of classes. Soon enough, I will take my »

Dahl-Bredine for Yale Corp. alumni trustee

April 12, 2002
A lot has been said recently about the race for the open Yale Corporation seat. Lee this, Lin that. And I’ve got to tell you, at first I didn’t care. There are over 100,000 alumni eligible to vote in the May election, but current students have no say. So I didn’t pay any attention. But »

A senior gift that’s just not worth giving

March 29, 2002
President Levin held a Master’s Tea in Davenport this week, and I’m sure everyone had a grand old time. Master’s Teas generally give students the opportunity to get to know the speaker on a much deeper level, and this was no exception. Levin talked about his childhood in a Gypsy circus. He was candid about »

An open letter to the Class Day Committee

March 1, 2002
For our Class Day speaker, I don’t want David Gergen ’63. Nor anyone else who is now serving or has ever served on the Yale Corporation. Nor anyone named Beinecke. I don’t want as a Class Day speaker someone who already makes regular appearances at Yale. This includes current faculty. And Tom Wolfe GRD ’57 »

The official column of the Olympics

February 14, 2002
As most of you know, I hang out with “President” Bush most weekends. Usually, we just rent a T&A flick and finish off a pony keg, but this weekend he insisted on going to the Olympics. At first I was upset that he had stood me up. But as I watched the opening ceremonies unfold »

Living on the wrong side of the Ivy tracks: crime at Yale’s highest level

January 17, 2002
When I was in high school, the older brother of some classmates of mine achieved overnight infamy. An alum of my Catholic college preparatory, Greg had finally found his vocation: hitman. A college acquaintance wanted his family executed, and he hired Greg to do the dirty work. After the triple murder, the conspirators tried to »

Was IT as good for you as IT will be for me?

December 3, 2001
I write this column in the past. Well, it’s my present, but thanks to the magic of print media (the magic of television’s bastard stepbrother), it’s your past. As you read this column, history has already been made. The Age of Aquarius has dawned. I’m talking about “IT.” You know, IT. IT is big. Bigger »

Nogues to Levin: Show me da’ money

November 8, 2001
Last year, Yale University paid President Richard Levin $561,709. During the same period, Yale University paid me approximately $592,000 less than that. I deserve a raise. After all, I do at least as much work as Levin. He goes to meetings. I go to meetings. He writes speeches. I write columns. He’s in charge of »

Cohabiting with anthrax and crazy bioterrorists

October 25, 2001
When I was younger, nuclear war was my big fear. My perceptions of nuclear reality were largely shaped by old movies and TV programs like “The Twilight Zone,” and so I used to worry about whether I would have enough time to run to the fallout shelter at the fire station once the air raid »

At last, a column with an opinion

October 12, 2001
Recently, I’ve been getting a lot of letters from concerned readers. “Dear King, How much thought do you put into your columns? Two, three seconds? I think the Yale community deserves a little more effort. [unsigned]” “Dear King, I cut out your column every week, but only so that I have something to line my »

Ma vie en grise: Growing old

September 27, 2001
Freshman year, my suitemates and I routinely stayed up past 4 a.m., trying to impress each other with our argumentative abilities and our knowledge of SAT words. Sophomore year, my suitemates and I routinely stayed up past 3 a.m., playing video games and eating sandwiches from Krauszer’s. Junior year, my roommate and I routinely stayed »

Hey Texas! Don’t mess with the rest of us

September 7, 2001
This summer I worked with a guy — let’s call him “Joe” — who lives in Texas. He never shut up about it. Joe on the weather: “Y’all call this hot? Come on down to Tehhhxas, I’ll show y’all what hot is.” Joe on barbecue: “Y’all call this barbeekyoo? Come on down to Tehhhxas, I’ll »