Hurricane Sandy may have left Connecticut, but the updates haven’t stopped.
A fake “University Update” from newest campus celebrity University Vice President Linda Lorimer hit inboxes Wednesday afternoon, giving students advice about clothing, note-taking skills and flashlight applications.
The email — convincingly sent by “firstname.lastname@example.org” and “email@example.com” — uses capital letters and borrows the same urgent tone that Lorimer adopted when urging students to stay indoors during Hurricane Sandy.
“For those of you returning to lecture classes, I encourage you all to take rigorous notes,” the e-mail read, under the subcategory “CLASSES.” “Anyone who finds themselves checking their email or Facebook more than is productive, I recommend that you switch to taking notes BY HAND to minimize distractions.”
Solid advice that we all could use, but was it from Lorimer? The email further encouraged students to find the perfect outfit for today’s 56-degree weather. The supposed Lorimer even went so far as to tell students that if they were unsure about what they should wear, they could email her a description of their outfit for further feedback.
Read Lindyloo’s full email below:
CLASSES AND EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES RESUME TODAY.
FOR THOSE NEEDING HELP: I am grateful to know that many of you will now be able to return to writing papers and reports. For those suffering particular difficulties with structuring elegant prose, PLEASE know that the Writing Center AND your College Writing Tutors offer peer and professional guidance, both under-utilized resources.
CHILLY TEMPERATURES have returned as we get closer to winter. It is expected to be around 56 degrees today, so I advise you to wear a LIGHT sweater throughout the day. If you are wondering whether something you have picked out is right for today: please give me a description of your options and I will respond as soon as I can!
CLASSES. For those of you returning to lecture classes, I encourage you all to take rigorous notes. Anyone who finds themselves checking their email or Facebook more than is productive, I recommend that you switch to taking notes BY HAND to minimize distractions.
To those who added a flashlight app at my suggestion, it is now acceptable though not necessary to remove it. You may find it helpful when searching under your desk for a pen cap or when looking through your purse to find your keys.
MY HEARTFELT THANKS FOR YOUR COOPERATION as we enjoy a normal Wednesday. Please continue to monitor http://emergency.yale.edu for more tips and advice.
No word yet on whether this is Pundits.
P.S. According to Lorimer, it is now acceptable to remove the flashlight app from your phone, but not necessary.