If you’ve ever felt intimidated by the other residents of Old Campus — namely, the squirrels dashing across the sidewalks — there’s no need to fret. eHow.com has a guide on “How to Talk to Squirrels” that describes the most effective tactics for communicating and communing with furry woodland creatures.
Begin talking to the squirrels. Once the squirrels are comfortable enough to eat in your presence, begin talking to them. Use a combination of words and chirps. If you can do a good job of imitating squirrel chirps, then you will certainly get their attention.
Since it’s reached that point in freshman year when you’ve stopped meeting new people, here’s a whole other population just waiting to get to know you. (Also, you’ll probably get along better with them than you do with your roommate in that forced double.) And if you needed any more convincing, rumor has it that some squirrels have recently infiltrated Welch; perhaps your newfound squirrel-talking skills will help you talk them into leaving (or staying).