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Cutting My Teeth

I tried to write my mother’s story in a way that it was never lived. I thought her foreign struggles would be more “authentic,” not only because of the suffering-equals-art trope, but also, at least a little bit, in the way Gauguin painted native girls like fruit and called it art.

December 5, 2014

Such is the State of American Pastry

Seen from afar, the state of American pastry looks bleak: we’re stuck in brand-driven creativity. Kraft over craft. Too often, we’re often much closer. Too close, with our faces buried in supremely flaky croissant-donut chimerae, wiping November special salted dulce de leche off our chins.

December 5, 2014

Learning to Hate

You have your ticket. You have the t-shirt from your acceptance package. You secured a spot in a bound-to-be-uncomfortable carpool to Cambridge. You’re staying with “a great, responsible Harvard student, Mom.”

November 21, 2014

Dos and Don'ts of Getting Noticed on College Gameday

But the one thing we do have is a centuries-old rivalry which surely won’t disappoint national audiences when we’re featured on ESPN’s College GameDay. So, here is your chance and maybe your only chance to get on the big screen. Here is WEEKEND’s guide to what will and what won’t get you noticed this GameDay.

November 21, 2014

The Game as Seen by a WASP/ a Wasp

Sight hateful, sight tormenting! Here they all join in song, and I, cut off from the world, among a species not my own, sting aimlessly hither and thither. Buzzzzzzsdfasdfdsf boolllabulldogs bulldogs, bwewwwww — I cannot enunciate the words. I am cursed with this voiceless buzz.

November 21, 2014

A Game for All!

Had you read it in the news? Had you see it in the sky? It is indeed this time of the year once again, when all the little biddles and jibs bundle up in their big puffy copes for the day of the big one. On to a bus and to the Harver they fly!

November 21, 2014

Diary of a Harvard Freshman

(The following is excerpted from a sad, sad diary found on the bathroom floor of a Harvard freshman dorm, atop a pile of empty Adderall bottles.)

November 21, 2014

Battle of the Bands

I must confess — I am absolutely clueless at football games. It’s a game made for television, and without the benefits of instant replay and […]

November 21, 2014

How Football Works

So here’s what’s going on in your head right now. You just bought a ticket to the Game. You feel great because it was a long line and some people weren’t even able to get tickets. You gaze at your shiny, red ticket and think about the sick tailgates you and your friends will have the best time of your lives chilling at on Saturday morning. You imagine the laughter and Instas that will be taken and then you realize that something happens after all of that.

November 21, 2014

To Game or Not to Game

Like many other Yalies, I pretended to be incredibly, unprecedentedly and obscenely excited to watch The Game, since football is my favorite sport ever. (Go […]

November 21, 2014

Who is the Great Fratsby?

This is a list of characters from “The Great Gatsby” ranked by how much fun they’d be at the 2014 Harvard-Yale tailgate. Why? Because many people who tailgate never make it to The Game, and here Gatsby offers an instructive parallel: It follows characters who spend their time in one long party and never achieve their true goals.

November 21, 2014