There’s something about the sizzling sound of searing a steak or the repetitive clicking of a stand mixer kneading flour, water and yeast into bread. The culinary arts are generally something people have taken for granted — simply just a way to fuel one’s body rather than a crafting of melodies with the five flavors. For many, cooking is a pastime. For many, cooking is a way to express creativity. And for many, including myself, cooking is a distraction from the academic stress that plagues their college life.

The thing about cooking, especially in dessert-making, is that you often need certain equipment or basics. To bake a cake, you (usually) need a cake pan. To make a smoothie, you (usually) need a blender. As a frequenter of the college student kitchens, I can attest that most of the time — a key part of college cooking — you don’t have the cake pan or the blender you need. The solution? Getting crafty. So without further adieu, here’s how to bake a classic in any student kitchen — a chocolate cake. 

Chocolate Cake:

1. Preheat oven to 350°F (177°C), or on the Stiles oven, “-_| ]”º (I’m still uncertain whether that’s right). Grease two 9-inch cake pans. If you don’t have cake pans, which was my experience in one of the kitchens, use the broken skillet (shoutout to the TD kitchen), a flat metal bowl or shape your own pan with aluminum foil. If you are in one of the kitchens blessed with a roll of parchment paper, line your pan/skillet/foil with it to ensure that it comes out.
2. Before making the cake batter, you’re probably going to be in a situation where you don’t have measuring tools that have labels on them, or just no measuring tools at all. So what do you do? Your options are give up, eyeball everything (wouldn’t recommend), or do a whole lot of counting, and at this point you’ve already prepared your cake pan/skillet/foil so you might as well just continue on. So, first, you’re going to find the most easily spottable measurement in the drawer — the tablespoon. A tablespoon has an oval, 1.5-2 inch shallow bowl for scooping, attached to a long, slim handle. If you don’t have a tablespoon, then find the teaspoon instead. Then, grab the larger measuring cups and a bag of sugar and count out how many tablespoons are in the cup. For example, the ¼ measuring cup will hold four tablespoons. From there, try to find a sticky note you can use to label the measuring cup — and there you have it — your solution to unlabeled measuring equipment. 
3. Make the cake: in the only bowl in the kitchen, whisk 1 and ¾ cups (28 tbsp) of flour, ¾ cup cocoa powder (you’ll probably have to buy this yourself), 1 ¾ cups sugar (this too, unless you’re fine using coconut or turbinado sugar), 2 tsp baking soda, 1 tsp baking powder and 1 tsp salt. Set aside. Using a stand mixer fitted with a whisk attachment (or you can use a whisk in a different bowl — assuming you have more than one) mix ½ cup vegetable oil, 2 eggs and 2 tsp vanilla together on medium-high speed until combined. You’re going to have to try more than one outlet in order to get the mixer to work, so don’t assume that it’s broken until you try ALL of the outlets in the kitchen. Add the 1 cup of milk you stole from the dining hall and mix until combined. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and add 1 cup of hot coffee you also stole from the dining hall. Whisk or beat on low speed until the batter is completely combined, and assuming you didn’t mismeasure anything, the batter should be thin.
4. Divide batter evenly between the pans/skillet/foil. Bake for 23 minutes-1 hour (this range is due to how inconsistent the ovens tend to be at “-_| ]”º) or more measurably, until a toothpick or knife inserted in the center comes out clean. Remove the cakes from the oven using the ratty or stupid-looking (shoutout Silliman) oven mitts and set the hot cakes onto something, anything, that won’t conduct heat (thank me later). Allow to cool completely in the pan.
5. Make the American buttercream (the kitchen simply cannot handle any other type): This part should go a lot better now that you have a bit of an understanding of how the kitchen works. So, with the handheld mixer that only has one beater, or the same stand mixer you used earlier fitted with a paddle attachment, beat 1 and ¼ cups butter on medium speed until creamy. Add 3 ½ cups powdered sugar, ¾ cup cocoa powder, 3 tbsp milk (again, steal this from the dining hall), a pinch of salt and a splash of vanilla extract. Beat on low speed for 30 seconds, then increase to high speed and beat for 1 full minute. Use vibes and taste to make adjustments as needed. 
6. Assemble and frost: remove the cakes from the pan/skillet/foil — it doesn’t need to be pretty. Use a knife to slice a thin layer off the tops to create a flat surface if you can; if you can’t then leave it. Discard or crumble the remains over finished cake. Place one cake layer on your serving plate or Tupperware. Evenly cover the top with frosting. Top with the second layer and spread remaining frosting all over the top and sides using a spoon (I always use an off-set spatula and bench scraper I brought from home for the frosting). Decorate, if desired, and enjoy your residential college student kitchen cake with the friends who constantly asked when you were going to be done!