You stayed the swelling flesh

around the ignored gaping wound

were gifted the bitterest of blames  

for your own suffering

and never pardoned for the sin

of wanting not to feel

as if with your neat acquiescence you

would forget how he had hit

but you had known the shape of fear

felt it mold to your liver and coat your tongue

had tasted it sweet like stomach acid

it ate your unremarkable girlhood whole

To cope they licensed your autonomy for

a chance at your complacency

your bondage their own comfort

your safety too abrasive to their frayed mirage

you stayed miserable in a docile body

were driven to those peeling yellow walls

to knowing the curve of your name

as pointed diagnoses of

you never trying hard enough

at embodying commitment to belief

and formal deference to science ever an

impenetrable motivator that

desires ultimate submission and

is ever eager to frame you its project 

to smother you with apathy and castrate your

small quivering body under the

guise of burning up your burial shroud

To make you malleable 

insure you profitable prisoner

they reached within you

with self improvement sermons peer reviewed 

and crushed your care in their latex fists

they spanked you with the knowledge that

your body was provocative 

were prideful at seducing you into

believing that harm’s the consequence of self

they all discussed you like a specimen

disgusting animalistic disobedient

yet vaguely beloved trainable

your bloated body held the captives yearning to

go anywhere but there

They squeezed dissent from your form and

left only damaged husk

convinced you that the dying skin

was goodness that your body craved

and handed you the blame inside a plastic cup

and lifted up your tongue

to make sure that you’d swallowed it