Zoë Halaban

As we wander through Yale’s campus, whether eager or not-so-eager to start classes, there is one activity most of us could not be more excited about: getting ready to lie on Instagram about how enjoyable our lives are. 

The perfectly handcrafted photo dumps were in abundance after that first week of classes, but what was the common thread among all of these posts? Digital cameras. Digital cameras give the perfect vintage Anna Delvey vibe, where you can seamlessly curate a lie about who you really are on the internet. Here, there are far too many spots and people you’ll need to capture. But fear not — if digis aren’t your thing, someone in your friend group will undoubtedly become the designated photographer. 

Now, what makes the cut for the oh-so-sacred Instagram dump? 

• Iced lavender lattes from Atticus: yes — adds the perfect dash of indie mystique to gaslight your followers. 
• Blurry drunk picture from Lax: hard, hard no. Pray no one ever recalls that night. 
• The cute “candid,” where you were pretending to study: yes, but maybe do a “liberal arts 360” the next time you start a debrief with your friends. 
• Dining hall food: no. Unless it’s a Yale waffle, for the slightest touch of Ivy-League elitism. Dining hall food can be hit or miss, and maybe brunch is more of a miss than a hit. Someone, please start a petition to remove it. 
• Random scenery you stopped to take a photo of in the middle of the sidewalk for: yes, but only as filler photos. I’m guessing we all have a picture of Sterling and Harkness in our camera rolls at this point. 
• The dirty underwear on the ground outside of Lawrence last Saturday: hard pass. Funny for a memory, but maybe not for its wearer.
• Mirror pictures: yes — especially if you’re with a group. They make the perfect, “kids, I told you I was hot in college” photo.
• Pictures of your homework: no, please don’t. No one cares that you’re a narcissistic STEM major. 

Include one or two food pictures, definitely a scenery shot, and plenty of photos of friends. While photo dumps don’t need to be perfect — because Instagram should never be that serious — they should be well-curated and a perfectly deceptive snapshot into your life at Yale.