Ariane de Gennaro

I’ve spent most of my life in trios. Maybe it was the Hermione Granger in me trying to find herself a Harry and a Ron, or the “Friends” super-fan searching for her very own Rachel and Phoebe, but somehow, I was always drawn to groups of three. Some trios taught me they are hard to maintain, while a few others showed me two true best friends are all I really need. 

In primary school, I realized trios are tough when two of the three are closer, leaving you to be the odd one out. My high school trio, on the other hand, solved this issue by becoming three different versions of the same person. If we all talk the same and laugh the same, there would be no problem of accidently leaving one out. We were guaranteed to get along as a group. We did, of course, have qualities that differentiated us. The most significant one being our unique hair colors. We were the perfect trio: a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. One of us was our savior when we needed to have fun and socialize; one was always there to take responsibility, organize our plans and make reservations; and the third was the go-to person for a balance of emotional and logical advice. We took turns in having mental breakdowns, so the others could switch between being the emotional support mechanism. All of our never-ending sleepover chats, exciting vacations and girls’ nights filled with laughter echoing throughout the entire restaurant are what I’m most grateful for from the past eight years of my life.

 We were lucky enough that the universe didn’t separate us that much after graduation. The hour-and-a-half drive between our houses back in Istanbul only became a two-hour train ride from New Haven to Boston. We can now continue to grow as we make more of our priceless memories.

I was even luckier to find myself a new trio right here at Yale. Obviously, not to replace my initial trio, but with the help of my newest best friends, adjusting to Yale became 10 times easier. Ironically, my new trio was similar in appearance to my primary friend group. In both groups, two of us were shorter as our third one was significantly taller. On top of the similar heights, getting used to them wasn’t hard as one of my newest friends was also blonde. We lacked a ginger member though, which is why it’s fortunate she’s come to visit twice already. I’m glad to have been able to introduce them to each other. 

I am aware that many are a firm believer in “the more the merrier,” and I do realize that an important part of the college experience is to branch out. But to me, it was still important to find people I was able to fully trust before beginning to expand my circle.

Normally, my friends would often describe me to be quite reserved, as I’m not the type of person to open up very easily. I don’t know how and when, but somehow the two new girls I met here were able to very quickly break my shell. I’m assuming it’s because we spend close to 16 hours per day together, almost only separating to sleep.

Sometimes it feels like we’ve been here forever, which makes it nostalgic to look back on all the progress we’ve made as a trio only in a span of eight months. Our friends call us inseparable, while our families make fun of our honeymoon-like spring break trip. I feel immensely grateful to have made friends that are willing to listen to my hourly to-do lists and my rants about my inexplicable nausea, or even help me plan my hair-wash schedule in the most logical way. The planning was tricky this week as I didn’t tell them I claimed a WKND GA on gratitude and had to skip over an item on my to-do list. I will be surprising them by sending the link to my piece when it comes out.

With time, I began to appreciate every single moment I spent with them, even the dreaded all-nighters. Some late nights include getting distracted and telling each other about our lives before coming to college, while others are intense study sessions only interrupted by necessary buttery breaks. Getting each other coffee, staring at the same problem set question for hours on end, falling asleep on each other’s shoulders during long train rides, borrowing makeup products as we get ready to go out… I have realized it’s the smallest gestures and simplest moments that helped us create the bond we have.

I also think it works out because we’re very similar in personality. Our weekly plans are always collaborative, as we work best when we give each other advice to avert anxiety attacks. Somehow, we deal with each other’s problems better than we deal with our own. I don’t think many other people would be able to listen to and understand all the complicated and random things that happen in my mind without judgment. I know they can, because we often have similar thoughts and emotions. We have the same sense of humor, same taste in movies and books and same understanding of fun. 

Coming close to ending our first year together, I already feel like I’ve known them my whole life. I feel lucky to have found them as quickly as I did. Once again, I have realized that life gets easier when you can have study dates, therapy sessions and night outs with the same two people.

I have been reminded of how relieving and supportive it is to have best friends you share so many values with, which is why I wanted to dedicate this piece to all the effortlessly genuine friendships I’ve made over the years.