I look at my reflection in the glass 

Thinking “how did life come to this?”

When did my reality begin to shift 

My childhood deconstructed 

Demolition happening all around 

Helpless 

My family ….. A forest full of people

Yet Unable to halt the deforestation 

Their leaves fueling the air 

Giving life meaning 

But what is life 

If there are no trees

And those remaining 

Have no leaves 

What is life 

If the one thing making this experience 

This experiment 

Of existence be enjoyable 

Is no longer here 

The last of that green 

Turning into brown 

And then into black 

What is life

What is life?

When you no longer have 

The privilege of sharing a laugh 

Of making a new memory 

And all you are stuck with

Are those that you can only reconstruct in your dreams

When the one you love so much

Can no longer receive it 

And you, never again to be a recipient 

Of neither their wrath nor warmth 

Because they are cold …

What is life?

When you have so much anger in your soul

You feel it in your chest 

Your belly 

Burning a pit, trying to escape 

But you have nowhere to put it 

Nowhere to let it out 

And it sits inside of you 

Gnawing a hole, you —- no longer whole 

What is life 

When right behind that anger you have grief 

you wanna pull your hair 

you need to scream 

you need to cry

thinking you have scabies because

You want to scratch your skin until it bleeds

Just to feel a little relief

what Is life?

When behind that grief there is emptiness 

you realize that they are no longer here 

And they’ve now crossed unto the land of the dead 

Nothing in existence can ever quite fill the hollowness

no one can ever take their place 

no puzzle piece available can ever take the shape of the irreplaceable 

and the wound they left?

Irreparable.

.. what is life? 

Dedicated to Mane & Travis Reddix jr. 

Rest in love