Elizabeth Watson

Aries

It’s your favorite time of year: election season! Try to avoid picking unnecessary political fights. Or don’t. You’ve never been one to let people boss you around, so why listen to me?

Taurus

This week you’ve been feeling like an extra in the movie of everyone else’s life, and it’s because you are. Stop blending into the background — go make your mark!

Gemini

It’s peak Yague season and you’ve been feeling under the weather. I promise that a poorly mixed drink and flashing LED lights aren’t going to cure you — put the frat shoes away and get some rest.

Cancer

Answer your phone. No, seriously — right now. Clear out those 1,738 emails and please, for the love of god, text your mom back.

Leo

You looked so good in your costume this Halloweekend that you picked up a new secret admirer!… kidding. The world doesn’t revolve around you the way you think it does.

Virgo

You’ve got secrets you want to keep, but Yale is smaller than you think it is. Stop name dropping and start using codenames.

Libra

The semester has gone on long enough that you’ve started to sink into a steady routine. Don’t get too comfortable — the leaves are changing and you are too. You might not see it yet, but your mom will definitely make a comment about it at Thanksgiving.

Scorpio

I know it’s your birthday season, but you’ve been partying a little too hard recently. Do yourself (and your GPA) a favor and lock yourself in Bass for a while. 

Sagittarius

You are going to have the best week ever because you are amazing and you deserve it. This is 100 percent factual and not at all a personal manifestation from a Sag author. 

Capricorn

Your hookup is not going to text you. It’s probably not because they think you are out of their league, but rather you have the personality of a saltine. Also: invest in some chapstick. 

Aquarius

You’re the water-bearer, and your waterworks have been working overtime. Maybe it’s the stress of midterms or the post-Halloweekend blues, but stock up on Kleenex, because this week you’re gonna need it. 

Pisces

Drink some water. You might be a water sign, but you’re unbelievably dehydrated. Avoid the line at Yale Health and take care of yourself.