I distinctly remember the events of April 2021. The election period was a long routine of going to bed at 5 a.m., writing the policy platform and preparing for the debate, all of which I expected when I agreed to run for office. What was unexpected, however, was the excessive hostility that surrounded my candidacy. Words like “power-hungry,” “snake,” “fake” and “b*tch” followed my name in conversations among people I never met. I actively avoided Librex posts, but my friends’ facial expressions told me everything. Although I understood people’s reservations about voting for a first year for vice president, my competence was excessively questioned, even though my qualifications matched those of my opponents. Comments like “I can’t believe Zoe won” or “How did Zoe even win?” are still said to this day.

These issues did not resolve themselves following the election. Throughout the year, I noticed that I was being treated with less respect than my position demanded. There were multiple instances in which fellow Yale College Council members appropriated aspects of my role as vice president. Some wrote public statements and called for a senate to vote on them without informing me or showing me a draft (VPs are always consulted in the drafting of public statements and are the sole person who initiates the voting process). Other members created the role of the speaker of the Senate, a new position that strips away some responsibility from the role of the VP. I was told that one of the reasons for creating the position was that I was “too stressed in my job.”

In senate meetings, I was frequently met with silence or resistance when I asked others to help out with tasks like writing a policy proposal, but I was reprimanded for not responding to other people’s requests immediately. I was blamed for not enforcing senate attendance, as many thought that I should have removed undedicated senators from office. However, I knew that regardless of which decision I made, I would have either been portrayed as a weak, passive leader who had no control over the senate or as an uncompassionate leader who removed people from the YCC — as this was how I was characterized when I initially acted to get more Senators involved.

I’ve been called “unresponsive” and “unprofessional,” even though I always promptly responded to requests, almost always within the hour, while others chose to ignore me for days and weeks. When I checked in with people after an extended period of time without a response, I was met with indignant texts accusing me of having “no patience.” I silently allowed YCC work to consume my October, Thanksgiving and winter breaks because I felt compelled to put others’ needs before my own. I felt used, disrespected and stepped on with little regard for my personal space or my mental health.

Throughout this past year, every flaw of mine was amplified and my capability challenged, while my accomplishments remained overlooked. I often asked myself: Was this happening because I was the youngest vice president that anyone could remember? Was it because I am a first-generation, low-income student? An Asian woman? Or all of the above?

As April approached, I looked forward to a peaceful conclusion of my term. However, right before spring break, whispers about a “YCC Exposé” by the Yale Daily News began to circulate. The article was allegedly pitched as coverage of “YCC tensions.” The News seemed eager to depict the YCC as dysfunctional compared with previous years; for example, they asked why the YCC website was not updated and demanded attendance records for every Senate meeting. This was odd because the YCC website was seldom updated in past administrations but was never questioned. I then noticed how rarely the News reported about the YCC’s accomplishments this past year. Why did the News choose to emphasize the lack of quorum and meeting minutes, but barely mention any major wins — elimination of the course drop fee this semester, supplying hundreds of COVID-19 tests to students over break, package center changes — that were enacted this year? In one confrontation with the News leadership, I expressed my concern about the lack of balance in the article and was repeatedly told, “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

I am all for accountability. I believe that elected representatives should welcome constructive criticism. I acknowledge that the YCC has structural flaws and that not every policy on my campaign platform was brought to the Yale administration. I also understand that I am not a perfect leader. The fact, however, that this article was deliberately pitched to the YDN, especially in a year when two women of color led the YCC, is profoundly shocking and abhorrent to me. The sheer lack of balance in the reporting and articles of the YCC this year, and misleading headlines like  “YCC representatives speak on a year plagued by structural failings” and “Is the YCC in crisis?” further masked our work and tangible policy wins while amplifying all of our minor flaws. I cannot help but wonder whether this experience was racialized and gendered. It only further exemplifies how women of color in leadership positions are almost always nitpicked for minor mistakes but are rarely praised for successes.

The level of scrutiny that Bayan and I have been under this year has been unprecedented. I have genuinely poured my heart and soul into advocating for the student body, investing hours and hours into writing proposals and meeting with administrators. I ran for VP because I truly wanted to fight for change and especially bring FGLI issues to the attention of the administration. I feel mispresented and hurt by depictions of me as a power-hungry, incompetent politician. 

My story serves as a few reminders to my fellow Yalies. First, the YCC does not exist to solve all of your problems. The truth is, we can’t immediately change course selection. We can’t offer you free laundry this year. But do recognize that some of us have tirelessly advocated for these changes for months — for years. 

Most importantly, we are real people. We are students, just like you. We have strengths but we also have flaws, just like you. The degrading comments you comfortably make have a real impact on real people. 

Microaggressions still exist on this campus. Check your implicit biases before you speak of someone. Hold your elected leaders accountable, but with realistic expectations.

As we look forward to a new YCC administration, I hope you are as excited as I am to see what the next women of color duo will accomplish. And I only hope that you treat them and all future leaders with respect, empathy and kindness. They deserve that and so much more.

Zoe Hsu is a sophomore in Berkeley College. Contact her at zoe.hsu@yale.edu.