One of the reasons I chose Yale was because I believed that it was home to one of the happiest college student bodies. Yet as a sophomore with not even two full years’ worth of experience at Yale, I already know that so many students here are struggling with their mental health. Stories are shared everywhere, from private suites to dining halls to Instagram to the anonymous Librex app. It’s come up enough these past few weeks especially that I can’t help but to think, “Are we even happy?”
The term “happiness” is arbitrary. We could define it as a fleeting moment of emotion or as average emotional well-being over a span of time — the difference between weather and climate, if you will. That makes sense; if somebody were to ask me on any given day, “Would you say you’re happy?” my response has been, and would be, “Yes.” I have so much to be thankful for: loving and supportive family and friends, good health and hope for the future.
It’s only natural that some days, I’m not so happy. There are angry days when I feel like I have dark thunderclouds scowling inside of me, when nothing goes right and I frown at everything. Even worse are the brooding days, when I become absolutely morbid and barely have motivation to get out of bed. Nothing is as bad as it has been in the past, but it’s enough to make me wonder why I’m like this.
It’s not that I want to be happy all the time — that’s unnatural for me, although I can’t speak for other people who may have transcended such limitations through godly levels of self-control, confidence or yoga. But I don’t think it’s part of my natural emotional fluctuation to suddenly flip a depressive switch in the middle of a social situation, to completely zone out of something else and only focus on the sudden and overwhelming urge to curl into the fetal position, to struggle for breath I don’t need.
I’m not alone in this. I share this experience of depression and anxiety with so many people here at Yale, and I don’t want to accept this as my normal. My knee-jerk answer to “Would you say you’re happy?” is “yes,” that my “climate” is content and happy. But on further consideration, I don’t think I am at a healthy level of happiness — not when the days where the “weather” is not so good are so destructive and exhausting. I don’t know if many of us here at Yale really are. Exhilarating memories on rooftops, hilarious jokes and peaceful dinners with friends are ultimately only surface-level deep when it comes to true well-being of mind. I’m determined to rediscover my healthy happiness, and I also see room for Yale to help us and accommodate us in our recovery.
COVID-19 has helped normalize taking sick days off, but as students who depend on their minds for performance, aren’t we equally, if not more vulnerable to declines in emotional well-being? Keeping in mind that each situation is unique and should be approached holistically, Yale should consider implementing a universal policy for academic accommodations to recognize that we each face different barriers, to strive for equity in student success and happiness. This could look like a set of guidelines for professors to follow when students approach them about a backlog of work — an allowance of dropped assignments or alternate make-up work. The dean’s excuse is immensely helpful for putting out urgent fires, but sometimes it leaves me even more behind in work, and accommodations for personal circumstances can depend heavily on which professor you talk to.
It is, of course, every student’s responsibility to acquire and practice sustainable and successful academic practices. Yale even offers Academic Strategies Mentoring for this very purpose. But I believe that the administration and faculty have a certain responsibility as educators to meet us halfway and support us if we ask them for help.
Maybe this sounds entitled. And of course I’m thankful for everything Yale offers me, but I think there can be a balance between being thankful for what I have, and also recognizing that I deserve to ask for change. Yale has come this far precisely because of its community demanding and petitioning for progress, so why not contribute to making a healthier space for ourselves and those who come in the future?
HYERIM BIANCA NAM is a sophomore in Saybrook College. Her column ‘Moment’s Notice’ runs on alternate Wednesdays. Contact her at hyerim.nam@yale.edu.