It’s Timothée Chalamet’s World — And I Wish I Wasn’t Living In It
By Audrey Kolker
Maybe it’s all two minutes and 33 seconds of the “Statistics” video, maybe it’s the fact that he does, actually, look like a pointy Italian shoe that was turned into a real boy by a witch’s curse, maybe it’s because I’m a contrarian at heart — whatever the reason, I love to hate Timothée Chalamet. His bony little body. His presence in every movie I’ve seen in theaters since 2017. The stupid accent on the stupid first “e” in his stupid French name. You don’t see me walking around telling people to call me Audrée.
Tell me I don’t get it. Tell me how boys who look like they have TB are really hot. Tell me I didn’t see that one movie where he’s randomly a heroin addict and Steve Carrell is his dad — he gave a really moving performance in that one, actually. Tell me the scene in “Call Me By Your Name” where he did unmentionable things to a piece of fruit was high art. I don’t care.
As he dominates the cinemasphere, I humbly submit: We are rewarding a theatre-kid-class-clown hybrid with the attention he wants more than anything else in the entire world, and we’re already paying the price. I mean, here is a man who gave like eight women at New York University chlamydia. I have no source for that: it is a blatant rumor that all New York City kids spread ritually. I believe it with my entire heart to be true. And since when is fragile beauty a substitute for talent? He gestured his way through “The French Dispatch,” he felt so out of place in “Little Women” and I fell asleep during “Dune,” which is probably on me, but I feel like he could have been better.
I don’t like to see Timothée win. Unfortunately for me, the universe doesn’t seem to care. Whatever. Let Timothée stare down at us from magazine covers and piles of box office revenue — I’ll be glaring back.
A Divide as Sharp as his Jawline: What’s Up With Timothée Chalamet?
By Angelique de Rouen
Whether you know him as Smokecheddathaassgetta or Lil Timmy Tim, it’s needless to say that Timothée Chalamet has made his mark on the industry. Film geeks and horny Gen Zers laud him as the great movie star of our generation. Okay well, technically he’s not in our generation but he’s just two years over the deadline, so he gets a dean’s excuse for this one. As a bilingual actor who is over 5 feet and 8 inches, he definitely has pretty much everything going for him — don’t worry, short kings, you still have a place in our hearts. However, there is still plenty of debate about whether or not Mr. Chagalamoo deserves the hype. Personally, I have heard some people say that he could make them part like the Red Sea, and others say that they have the feminine urge to snap him like a twig. All I can say for both of these awfully violent descriptions is … are y’all okay?
On a more serious note, I feel like as of right now, Chalamet deserves to enjoy his time in the spotlight. With my utter lack of research, I don’t find him to be particularly cancelable. He’s just a guy who had a fun time with a peach and potential cannibal on camera, and now he’s really famous. And I love that for him! Is this a strange career path? Oh abso-fucking-lutely. But hey, he’s definitely “Dune” a lot better than me right now, so who am I to judge? I’m hoping he continues to ride this wave for as long as he can — we have a pretty nice and healthy parasocial relationship going on right now. He makes movies, and I write about him in my college’s daily newspaper. I’m rooting for us! But no matter where you lie on the Chalamet-o-meter, one thing’s for sure: Timothée knows how to keep things nice and peachy.
Cultivating a Chalamet Cult
By Abigail Dixon
I was first introduced to Timothée Chalamet in “Lady Bird” when I was 16, and all I felt toward him was outrage at the apathy of his character. My infatuation bloomed only later, after meeting — and falling for — a Chalamet-esque boy in real life. From this perspective, I could suddenly appreciate the appeal of the combination of cool intelligence and boundless absurdity that had sent the internet into a craze. Now, I’ve almost watched “Dune” three times, and that’s not because of the stunning cinematography.
Because of the latency of my love, I can sympathize with those who do not understand the hype. Looking at static pictures, it is easy to passively pick apart his features, from his comically wide jaw to his overgrown eyebrows. But on the silver screen, a clenching of the bone here or twitching of his brow there conveys the most subtle, yet crucial emotions that most actors fail to deliver.
The sharp accuracy of Chalamet’s acting pierces through me each time. He affects me so thoroughly, I am often unable to watch one of his movies without pausing it an absurd amount, from when he sheepishly looks at the ground to boldly confesses his love. I still have not managed to finish watching “The King,” and that film premiered in 2019.
Chalamet’s charm still extends beyond the screen: his hypnotizing self awareness exudes an aura of comfortability — confidence without arrogance, self-consciousness without insecurity. This alluring balancing act is one that is only recently seen as attractive in men. People are looking less for a protector and more for a companion. The embracing of sensitivity in harmony with masculinity rather than discordant with it is what has allowed for the rise of this newly desirable archetype. Chalamet is the figurehead of the movement, and although it took me a while, I am following him devoutly.
Ten Things I Hate About Timothée Chalamet
By Jacqueline Kaskel
I don’t care how you pronounce it — with a fancy French accent or a butchered American one. Timothée Chalamet is my generation’s most absurd and uncalled-for obsession. I pride myself in saying that I have never seen a Timothée Chalamet movie. And it’s not that I haven’t tried. Believe me, I have. When “Little Women” received its crap ton of accolades, I put it on my list — who didn’t? But I never got around to it. People told me to watch “Call Me by Your Name,” too, but life happened. “Lady Bird” has been on my Netflix watchlist for far too long. I’m not even ashamed to say that I bought the book “Dune” — not to read in preparation for the movie, but to enjoy as a substitute. And I’m definitely not ashamed to say that I only learned he was in “Interstellar” a few days ago; though, to be fair, I’ve never actually seen the movie.
While I’m sure he’s got talent, I don’t see the need to cast him in every single new movie. He’s a twig for crying out loud. A goddamn twig. Don’t tell me that his jawline and cheekbones could cut diamonds. That boy still looks like a child. A very sharp child with the beginning of a rat mustache and too much hair product. Are you telling me that the world — most notably the female population — is swooning over a 25-year-old actor who hasn’t yet gone through puberty? And do you know what gets me the most? He’s playing Willy Wonka in the new 2023 film “Wonka.” Think about Gene Wilder and Johnny Depp. Now think about Chalamet. Am I missing something there? Shouldn’t he be portraying Charlie? Or maybe the director cast him solely for his resemblance to the traumatized adolescent Willy Wonka in headgear from the 2005 movie.
It seems like Chalamet should be sticking with his teenage heartthrob roles for the time being — he definitely does not strike me as someone who could play a leading adult role. But what do I know? I severely lack both a proper Chalamet education — which I do not plan on rectifying — and the qualifications of a casting director. And so, to all the Chalamet fans out there that I have offended today, you are welcome to carry on. Love him. Kneel before him. Swoon at his French. He was only ever yours to begin with.
Timothée Chalamet: the revival of the movie star
By Christion Zappley
Timothée Chalamet is known for many things. Some may even say that he is a renaissance man. He is a mathematician — see his highly advanced lecture on statistics; rapper — see his Roman’s Revenge performance; and even an advanced computer scientist — see his recently discovered professional technology reviews. But, to most, Chalamet is an actor, and, an amazing one, at that.
I personally discovered him during the 2017 Academy Awards season when “Lady Bird” and “Call Me By Your Name” were up for prestigious accolades. Both films featured the legend himself. In “Lady Bird,” Greta Gerwig’s directorial debut, Chalamet played Kyle, a supporting character in the second half of the film who dates the protagonist, Christine. Chalamet embodied the persona of someone who reads books at parties, studies “A People’s History of the United States” — as if anyone actually read that book while they were in high school — and scoffs at capitalism while having enough money to not have to worry about it. He was uncaring, inattentive and absolutely full of himself. Yet somehow, Chalamet managed to make an entire audience still care for Kyle as a human being and the issues he faces with his terminally ill father. That same year, Chalamet was Oscar nominated for best actor for his performance in “Call Me By Your Name” where he played an artistic, sensitive and caring teenager who discovers his own sexuality and identity one summer in Italy. By the end of the film, you feel the pain of Chalamet’s character, Elio, as he cries in front of a fireplace to a Sufjan Stevens song. When the credits rolled after this scene at the New York Film Festival, Chalamet’s performance inspired the longest standing ovation in festival history. At the young age of 20, Chalamet proved that he could carry a complex, emotionally-rich film on his own.
These were just Chalamet’s breakout roles, which only hint toward his full capabilities as an actor. He has kept up with the likes of legends such as Steve Carell, Frances McDormand, Oscar Isaac and more. He has already established himself as a dominant duo alongside Irish actress Saoirse Ronan — which needs no further elaboration if you have seen the field scene at the end of “Little Women.” They are an onscreen couple instantly reminiscent of powerhouse predecessors such as Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet, Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway and Viola Davis and Denzel Washington.
Whether you think Chalamet is overrated, his accolades speak for him. With the simple addition of his name to a project, support is nearly guaranteed. For example, the newly-released “Dune” is based on a 1965 novel. Those who have read it famously consider the book as dense and complex, while many others have not heard of the text at all. But with Chalamet and superstar Zendaya’s faces on the poster, it was a guarantee that people were going to watch. According to Screen Rant, the film took $41 million during its opening weekend in theaters and was streamed by 1.9 million households on HBO Max.
Chalamet is a glimpse of what the future of cinema will hold for actors of our generation. There is lots of discourse about whether movie stars are a dying concept. Critics say individual actors no longer have the starpower to draw out audiences just for them. But from 2017’s “Lady Bird” and “Call Me By Your Name” couplet, to “Dune” and “The French Dispatch” filling current theaters, Chalamet has proven that this claim is untrue. The movie star can return home to the silver screen. “Dune” is currently streaming on HBO Max until Nov. 21. Both “Dune” and “The French Dispatch” are currently screening at Criterion Cinemas in New Haven.
Dear Time magazine, Timothée Chalamet is just a hot guy
By Caroline Parker
Here’s my hot take: I don’t like Timothée Chalamet. I don’t like his smarmy, New York-style pretentiousness. I don’t like his faux philosophical answers to straightforward press questions. I don’t like how the entire internet has decided that he is the second coming of Marlon Brando. He’s talented, sure, but I don’t think he’s the amazing actor we’re being led to believe he is. He always plays dark, broody intellectual types and consistently relies on more powerful performances by his female costars. I didn’t like him in “Lady Bird,” I wasn’t impressed by his performance in “Little Women” and I don’t have time or energy to watch him hike through the desert for two and a half hours in “Dune.” I’ve tried to endear him to me by learning about his life. After a quick dive into the world of celebrity gossip, I learned that he’s a nepotism baby who was the Typhoid Mary of a supposed chlamydia outbreak at New York University.
I’m sure he works hard, and he seems to treat his fans well. I respect him for that. I just don’t think he deserves the lauding he gets. Last month, Chalamet covered Time magazine. The publication vaunted him as a “Next Generation Leader” alongside activists, advocates and pioneers. When I saw the article, I actually laughed out loud. Even among actors of his age, I wouldn’t consider him a leader. He isn’t pushing boundaries like Zendaya or Hunter Schafer. He doesn’t do extensive charity work like Emma Watson or Selena Gomez. The article mentions his climate change activism, but the mention is in passing. There’s nothing to chronicle there. No one thinks of Chalamet first when questioned about young environmental advocates. Chalamet’s brand is built on looking pretty and getting lucky in his projects — of course his powerful parents help too. Putting Chalamet on the cover above actual change-makers told me one thing: Time magazine is desperate for readers.
Of course, if Chalamet asked me out, I wouldn’t say no. I’m principled, not blind. There is that chlamydia thing to consider, though.
Timothée Chalamet: An Icon Growing Before Our Eyes
By Sophia Groff
Since his leading role in the 2017 romantic drama “Call Me By Your Name,” Timothée Chalamet’s career has been set on an exponential upward trajectory. His performance in the film as Elio Perlman earned him an Academy Award nomination for best actor. At 22 years old, he became the category’s third-youngest nominee in history, forecasting that the budding actor had a sensational career in his future.
2017 was a busy year for Chalamet. Aside from starring in “Call Me By Your Name,” he also appeared in a number of other popular coming-of-age films, including “Lady Bird” and “Hot Summer Nights.” He later starred in the 2018 emotional drama “Beautiful Boy,” earning a Golden Globe Award nomination, among other prestigious recognitions. 2019 was another year of success: Chalamet played Henry V of England in “The King” and joined the cast of “Little Women” to play Theodore “Laurie” Laurence, a performance that was met with widespread acclaim. These roles, among others, quickly earned him recognition as one of the youngest, most popular and most talented actors of our time.
Now in 2021, Chalamet has reached new levels of success once again. His career seems to thrive more and more every year as he continues to impress American and international audiences alike. His most recent films — “Dune” and “The French Dispatch” — have also met positive reviews. A new take on Frank Herbert’s classic science fiction novel from the sixties, “Dune” has appealed to readers of the book, Chalamet fans and science fiction lovers alike. Director Denis Villenueve did make some controversial changes, including the pacing — “Dune” is only part one of the novel’s storyline. Time is split between awing the audience with impressive, high-budget visuals and tugging at their heartstrings with tense character moments fraught with danger. However, some viewers feel that the recent adaptation left out crucial elements of the novel, brushing over key political context and world building that was essential to the storyline. Still, Chalamet’s performance as Paul Atreides was stunning, and his on-screen chemistry with actors Oscar Isaac, Rebecca Furguson, Jason Momoa and briefly, Zendaya, is undeniable.
Regardless of your opinions on his latest films, Chalamet’s talent has become recognized worldwide. The 25-year-old actor has already seen levels of success of which most people can only dream, and it is safe to say that his career is still only just getting started.
The Timothée Tabloid
By Anastasia Ibrahim
In my mind, I’m already dating Timothée Chalamet. Actually, we’re married. And while I might have been a little bit apprehensive about sharing him with 50 percent of the female population aged 18-25, I’ve come around to it. I’m cool now.
Like a classic Scarlett Johansson and Colin Jost love story, he’s cinema’s sweetheart, and I’m the stuffy Ivy League student — minus the successful career. Also like Johansson and Jost, Timmy and I met on SNL. He was the irresistible SmokeCheddathaAssGetta, and I was one of the 14.8 million views on YouTube. But I am not the 99%. I did not fall in love with him because of the elegance of his name and nothing else. I recognize his merit.
Because besides his perfect name, face, life, fashion sense, aura, heritage, hairline, (impeccably-sized) ears and the universe not only working in his favor but bowing down at his feet, he’s a humble, hard-working, talented young actor. He’s versatile. Not only on screen (the “Rap Roundtable” skit, “Little Women,” “Dune” and “The French Dispatch,” just to name a recent few), but also on my Instagram explore page. I never know which Chalamet I’m going to get. Black and white Time Magazine Chalamet? Paparazzi-photographed coy teenage sex appeal Chalamet? Ratatouille meme Chalamet? (If you haven’t seen it, it’s definitely worth the Google search). Another tool in his toolbox — no — he is the tool in his toolbox. Pedestrian TV called him the “internet’s boyfriend,” and well, yeah. He’s the standard, the prototype now. Whenever my friends ask me what I’m looking for in a man, I respond ‘Chalamet’, and just like Jennifer Lawrence reacting to Lady Gaga at the Golden Globes, they respond “Oh. Oooooh.” It’s immediately understood; no questions asked. When it comes to Timothée, there’s no room for taste disputes. He’s a universal actor, a global citizen, and everybody’s type.
Not to mention, his appeal and remarkable talent is underscored by his meekness and charisma. He’s witty, kind, and never acts ostentatiously. He blushes with an awkward smile whenever he’s complimented in an interview and gives off the impression that he has no idea how famous he is. In fact, he’s so unaware of his fame that despite a powerful celebrity fanbase (among them are Zendaya, Emma Chamberlain, Kendall Jenner, and Jimmy Fallon), he doesn’t follow any of them back on Instagram. And the reason is crystal clear– he feels unworthy.
Oh yeah– he also fucked John Mulaney’s ex-wife– right after Mulaney made jokes about her being in love with him in Seth Rogan’s 2018 “Hilarity for Charity” special. Chalamet’s a Pete-Davidson-level romantic power player. Honestly, what’s there not to love about him?