Sophie Henry

People on the internet have been claiming that they could pull Jack Harlow. Do you think you could? What other celebrities could you or your friends pull and why? Please tell us your thoughts! 

Ruth Lee ’25

I probably couldn’t pull Jack Harlow. Not only because I’m still legally a minor, but because he looks like one of the boys you see at the frat parties. You know, the ones that give sporadic half smiles even if you’re talking about something serious, like when your cat had cancer and died last year. They’ll tap your forehead as if it’s supposed to be endearing, but it really feels like they’re sending morse code instead.

Drake might be another story. He knew what he was doing when he wrote a song called “November 18,” which just happens to be my birthday. And in pure Yalie fashion, I will surely be “draped up and dripped out know what I’m talkin’ ’bout” during the not-at-all-stressful midterm season. And if you’ve seen Drake in Degrassi, you know that the Jimmy Brooks could totally pull off someone in a freshman physics class. “Drake, let’s meet up for lunch at Murray. No, this isn’t a date! Can I get your answers for the Physics p-set?”

Angelique de Rouen’24

Jack Harlow. In my experience, depending on which one of my besties I talk to, his name alone can bring up two different, yet highly intellectual questions: Am I in love with Jack Harlow (check out her playlist, titled “am I in love with Jack Harlow”)? or does Jack Harlow look like he would drink hot dog water? I still can’t tell if Jack is hot or just white, but one thing’s for sure, anybody can pull him with the right amount of confidence. There’s a fine line between being a badass and being bad. However, with the right mindset, you can definitely ask Jack out to get some froyo. I’m all for long-distance relationships, but I’m pretty sure I can’t pull him all the way from Los Angeles to New Haven, and I think if I try to pull up I might get a lawsuit. But maybe one day, Jack can send me and my friends back home with his handprint on our asscheeks.

Anastasia Hufham ’23

I could pull Harry Styles.

RUTH LEE
ANGELIQUE DE ROUEN
ANASTASIA HUFHAM