Dora Guo

Dear Julia,

Welcome to Yale! I know exactly how you’re feeling right now. Will you make friends? Will you do well in your classes? Find activities you are passionate about? It’s all unknown to you right now. Is your Yale experience going to be the classic montage of throwing a frisbee on Old Campus, going to frat parties with your friends and bonding over your bad decisions, studying philosophy on a blanket and grabbing lattes with friends? Sometimes, yes. But most of the time, no. I am not going to lie to you. It is going to be hard. There are going to be horrible classes. There are going to be callous professors. There are going to be nights that you cry yourself to sleep. There will be weeks where you want to go home and times where you wish you had not come to Yale. There will be days where your right eye will turn red from stress (weird, right?). But I can promise you that it will be worth it.

You will meet people who make you realize how different your worlds are and who will teach you so much about other perspectives on life. Listen to them and learn. You will face obstacles and decisions that will make you question everything you thought you knew about yourself. That’s okay — question it. You will struggle in ways that make you reevaluate your entire plan for your career path. That’s okay — reevaluate. You will face rejection and judgement and ridicule. That’s okay — learn how to love yourself not in spite of it, but because of it. 

Yes, you are here to take classes and learn and get a college education. But I will tell you that you won’t remember 90 percent of what you learn in class once the final exam is over. What you will remember is what you learn about yourself. You will get to move on to the next phase of your life knowing what kind of people you want to surround yourself with. You will be able to make career choices with the knowledge of what you are passionate about and what is important to you. You will be able to live the next phase of your life having let go of the importance of status, respect and others’ opinions of you, things that formerly kept you tethered tightly to a path that certainly would have drowned you. You will learn how to love yourself for exactly who you are and nothing more. Would it have been easier to have not gone to Yale? Maybe. But the lessons you will learn about yourself and life and the ways in which you will fundamentally change are invaluable, and will guide how you choose to live the rest of your life.

The next four years will be some of the most difficult times of your life, and some of the best. And you can do it. You are stronger and more resilient than you know. Listen to yourself and your gut. Pay attention to and learn from the people around you. Try new things and be open-minded. When a friend asks you to dinner or coffee, say yes. Ask for help and advice when you need it. Encourage yourself to question your own thoughts and feelings, and allow yourself to change.

Two weeks before you graduate, your grandfather will ask you “are you glad you chose Yale?” There will have been times when the answer to that question would have been “I don’t know” or even sometimes “no.” But you will surprise yourself when you respond “absolutely” with resounding self-assuredness. Yes, you will be glad you chose Yale. Not because of the classes, or the Gothic architecture, or even the brand name on your resume. But because it made you the person you are today. 

Good luck with the next four years. Be kind to yourself and to those who love you. 

See you on the other side.

Love,

Julia

JULIA CHERTKOF