The minute I stepped into the Silliman College dining hall I knew something was wrong. I saw people looking, staring, gawking at my feet. It was almost like my entry had offset the order of the universe. I entered the line for food and those ravenous bastards were still staring. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong until I looked down at my feet and remembered what I was wearing: my favorite shoes, my Crocs.
Crocs are the most divisive form of footwear. Once one of the most popular forms of apparel in elementary school, they began to fall out of style as we grew older. Sometimes, people like me never let go. I didn’t think wearing Crocs at Yale would be a big deal. Back home, everyone would show up to class in sweatshirts and yoga pants, and they embraced the resurgence of my favorite childhood footwear by senior year. Who knew Yale’s New England prep school culture wouldn’t be accommodating to my lifestyle! Tragic.
In defense, there are SO many perks to acquiring a pair of Crocs. They’re perfect for summer. They don’t make your feet smell like ass and can be worn on the hottest of days with no problem. Sure, things might get a bit sweaty, but your handy-dandy Crocs will never betray you with an odor. Rain? Absolutely no problem for Crocs. You never have to worry about soggy feet for hours after an unexpected spring shower. The soft platform of the Croc is often high enough to prevent unwanted rain from entering your shoe, but in the case that water does make its way through the porous clog, quick draining will have your feet dry in absolutely no time. Sandals could NEVER.
At this point, you might be thinking, “Sure Crocs might be okay, but how do I wear them in the winter or when my feet are cold?” I have a one word answer: socks. Socks and Crocs go together like Bonnie and Clyde, Barack and Michelle, University President Peter Salovey and skeezy investment bankers. Not only are they a stylistic necessity, but they also make wearing your Crocs even more comfortable. Bland outfit? Accessorize that shit with some sexy socks. Year-round clout, it is THAT easy. 50-year-old suburban mothers couldn’t take this look forever, and frankly, it’s about time we, as the youth of today, take back ownership of comfort and style. There are so many different colors of Crocs that you can find a pair to match every single outfit in your closet. (There are over 20 colors. I counted.) Not only different colors but different styles as well, so if Crocs and socks aren’t necessarily your style, fur-lined Crocs will most certainly match your Canada Goose.
Now, wearing your Crocs all the time might get them dirty. How would you go about cleaning them without taking time out of your day? EASY. Wear them in the shower. These are by far the best shower shoes; fresh out of the shower, they can function as Buttery shoes. Their versatility is unmatched. They give you the comfort of your best shoes with the function of sandals or slides.
In this age, we’ve been waiting for *that* shoe brand to break down all barriers and create a truly unisex style. Well, Crocs did that. Did you want equality? Thought so. We need to support more brands like this who truly support gender equality. (Like Lululemon and Juul.)
You thought you had a best friend or significant other? No, you don’t until you have matching Crocs and Jibbitz. (Oh, and if you’re so uncultured that you DON’T know what a Jibbitz might be: They’re little decorations you can put in the holes of your Crocs, like an earring, but not sold at Urban Outfitters.) This is truly the pinnacle of friendship. Crocs may have been called “giving-up-on-life shoes” by Tan France of Queer Eye but at least you would be giving up on life together. Everything’s better with a friend: crying in Bass, eating shitty Silliman dinner and wearing eye-catching shoes.
Back to the culture of wearing Crocs at Yale. Crocs are like the AEPi of shoes: reliable and not always favorable, but everyone enjoys them and no one will say it. Although they might not have the most attractive exterior, they’re always there to offer the kind — and often nostalgic — support that so many of us need. Sometimes I like to say that my Crocs are the only things holding me together. However, I realized even they — like all things — have holes. Although today there is still slander towards those who are brave enough to wear their Crocs in public, one day, the iconic platform Balenciaga Crocs will become the new Canada Goose of this campus and us Croc wearers will finally be ahead of the curve.
Lindsay Jost | firstname.lastname@example.org